Any way you cut it, she got rid of that wife so she go after him .
There was something about the wife that bothered her--To Janeway, they're just holograms, right? Why not just recreat the character in a totally different scenario, different planet, whatever?
Nope, she kept the character and the scenario and erased the wife-- she wanted something the man had, he was attached, she had to get rid of--or work around the wife.
Isn't that the standard method behind cheating?
It would have been interesting if the story had it that the characters couldn't be erased, and Janeway had to deal with here and if she went ahead with it.
Well the thing is the holoprogram was left open to tweaking by the players. It's possible Tom Paris would be put out by his village being altered by someone else but he didn't lock it down (Janeway just walks in and adjusts it, she doesn't have to over ride anything). So right away it's open to people's tweaks. As I already said if her fantasy was about cheating she would have left the wife in there snuck around behind her back.
But I think you are just enjoying casting Janeway as a cheater so you don't care about the facts.