I prefer the theatrical version to the DE and the SLV to both of those.
They each have their plusses. The SLV to me, is kind of a 'rough cut' version--which is always cool to see.
The theatrical is neat as a kind of alternative super-serious 'sci-fi' experience without Spock's revaltion about logic at the end and Kirk not setting the self-destruct indicating he always has another plan to save the day.
For me, the DE is closest to the spirit of the series as far as the characters go, but as somebody said it's a poor Star Trek script--maybe not a bad sci-fi script--but a bad Star Trek script.
After 10 years the most fans wanted to see the characters in good form again--not a movie trying to duel with 2001.