Thread: Endgame Redux.
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Old October 15 2012, 01:59 AM   #12
Count Zero
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Re: Endgame Redux.

I like how you're presenting the Kazon in your story. One thing I find somewhat jarring as far as the story flow is concerned is that you sometimes break the 4th wall, so to speak, i.e. you as a writer from the 21st century come through (e.g. the space dog thing). Sometimes, these changing perspectives throw me out of the story. I hope that doesn't sound too critical.

As for the content, well, just keep in mind that this is a PG-13 board. What you're writing may not faze you or me but it would be nice if the unsuspecting reader knows what he's getting into beforehand.
"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates." Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi

Last edited by Count Zero; October 15 2012 at 02:40 AM.
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