Thread: Endgame Redux.
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Old October 15 2012, 01:10 AM   #11
Guy Gardener
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Re: Endgame Redux.

(I’m firmly of the belief that the Kazon think that they are good moral people by their own standards. Which is actually by our standards pretty fricking depraved, but in truth that means that they don’t do evil things for evil reasons, they do evil things because they are unimaginably ignorant. No one was raped no matter the language that was used or the ideas that were put across, and the question of if a Kazon would have consensual sex or otherwise with an Ocampa is constantly split in my mind because the Kazon are so speciest that nonkazons are not real people and might as well be livestock, which is not sexy, bestiality is not sexy, because seriously how many nonhuman lifeforms do you find attractive in the real world? SEE! That icky feeling I just created in the back of your throat is how most Kazon might/should feel about nonkazon females if their convictions remain consistent. Sorry. However you could equally argue that if an animal (Kes) doesn’t have a soul or nothing but a cunning counterfeit attempt at a working intellect, then it’s just a question of if it is legal more so than moral to have sex with animals, because if it is already impossible to receive a weighted consent from an animal, it also means that an animal (Still talking about Kes.) cannot legally refuse sex from a superior being, then legally defined rape in this instance is legally impossible because consent is mandatory. In short, they don’t want to have sex with Kes, but if they had had an out of character aberrant inclination, then Kes’ opinions on the matter would have been inconsequential and irrelevant. I’m writing about bad people who do bad things. Sorry there wasn’t a warning, but it’ still pretty tame compared to where I’m willing to go if I feel justified that it’s an interesting and logical direction for the story. On the question of homosexuality, despite how mean those two kazon were to each other, in my head I was thinking “Waiting for Godot in Space”, it was always my contention that they conveniently and randomly slept together without being in a loving relationship because they were stationed on a planet with zero to few Kazon females, where it got pretty bloody cold at night, so sometimes a lad just has to be practical. What honestly are their choices? Be alone and lose some toes from hypothermia or highly enjoyable homosexual sex? It’s a no brainer really isn’t it?)

Part Seven.

The greatest government in the galaxy was run by intellectual giants from a rag ended tent that couldn’t keep the weather out, princes of the universe who had never in their lives ever cleaned their hands after eating, crapping or murdering. “I’m not a monster, but if you do that again, I’ll cut one of your fingers off. Do we understand one another girl?”

She was learning.

If you look them in the eye, they punch you in the eye.

If you talk back, they punch you in the mouth.

And if you run, they hobble your ankles with a mallet.

The last example of Kazon justice, Kes had not personally experienced yet, but only seen.

Which was gruesome.

Although why run?

Waiting out there beyond the perimeter of the camp was only a slow death.

Staying put was a slower death, which was not necessarily the finest consolation, but once you picked up on the rules it was easy to avoid further corporal punishment from these interlopers who stole her birthright. Savages who can’t even replicate water, who further by the way should have been turned to cinder by Caretaker’s wrath. Certainly, that’s why her parents made her worship Caretaker because he as their savior did look after them against all threats from above and below. So why the heck was he allowing the colonization of Ocampa by these rough edged hobos?

The first night some poor decisions had been expressed.

The flogging for complaining about her gruel was the lighter side of not being fed for the next three days until their chef’s feelings had been given time to heal up from her criticism. Her new owners had raised a valid point about how she should be more grateful towards their generosity, before awarding the poor little lost girl with ten lashes on her bare stomach since that was objectively the organ from where the abject gall to mock their culinary department had originated.

They’re a very literal people.

If something offends them, they smash it.

‘”Yes Maje, I’m sorry Maje, I’ll do better Maje.” The little girl is almost singing, making sure to be constantly looking at her feet during the supplication to her master. “May I retire for the night Maje?”

“No.” Word of god.

“Yes, Maje.” Kes takes a step back, trying to imagine/find some busywork she can fall into before someone thinks of some horrible way to make her life even more uncomfortable. The four of them must be planning something important since she reasons, they weren’t that drunk yet and the sun and gone down hours ago. There was no alcohol in the city bellow, Kes had tried some on her second night to deal with the hunger. Tasted like poison and made every one act like an idiot.

“Can you imagine this piglet’s presumption? “this is my planet” she says…HA! Her planet? It hasn’t been your planet for a 10 centuries. Ownership of the surface has passed for the strong to the stronger since before my people left the caves.”

Jabin’s retinue laughs in chorus. Insincerely holding their bellies for fear their sides would split. One of he is biding his time till jabin trusts him enough to do something weak, another is fearful what would happen to the profitable industry they’d built up on the Ocampan surface is millions or billions of these creatures burrowed up and started war, and the third is always thinking about his wife’s sister who turned down his proposal, well his fatherinlaw turned down his proposal and said he was only good enough for his idiot daughter with the gammy leg. If he was Maje, if Razik was Maje then he could go back and have a set of sisters in his bed at night, and if he was collecting why stop at two? The Maje of the Kazon Ogla if he didn’t become stupidly greedy could easily support 7 wives, and if they were sisters it was less likely they would all be trying to kill each other to monopolize his affection.

The Maje continues “The presumption! Her planet, wait till I tell my children, they’ll bury her alive for claim jumping their legacy, It’s been a thousand years since you abandoned this world to the first takers you yellow haired turd! A thousand years! If it was still you planet, the Queen of Ocampa, then I’d hardly be able to do this? ” Jabin throws a mug full of dung cider at Kes which hits her in the side of the face as raises his arms in victory then screams “10 points!”

Jabin, Maje of kazon Ogla, is surrounded by his most trusted lieutenants, 3 soldiers who have perhaps 47 pounds of all but calcified hairlike shrubbery between them sticking straight up, unified each possesses a highly developed and articulate sense of humour so take heart to this fabulous game immediately and start throwing items at the little girl with the mushroom princess haircut.

“10 Points!” Haliz bellows hitting her with a chicken, a space chicken, something that looks like a chicken… And then gets her in the arm with a bread plate “10 points!”

“10 points!” Razik guffaws after savagely making contact between the girls face and a propane candle (that wasn’t tuned on thank goodness!) then reaches for a knife that used to be in the space chicken…”How many points to kill it?”

“If it dies, you’re disqualified.” Jabin steeples his finger tips, contemplating these three working through the slavepens in a week, until the entire herd had been culled for entertainments sake and hypothetical points that have no resale or intrinsic value.

“What?” Razik face crumples up like a sphincter that.. wait? Isn’t a mouth literally a sphincter? “That’s no damn fun. What a stupid game. I say 40 points if it loses an eye and a hundred points if one of us can kill it. What do you think girl? Do you think you’re worth a hundred points?”

“No sir.. I mean yes sir…Please… I don’t…” keeping her head down and being a good girl is not going to be enough, these monsters were children. Children are worse than monsters. Everyone knows that.

Jabin created binding law. “I think its either 500 points to kill Razik or we can step back in time 90 seconds and pretend that I never invented this bosh. Good? Agreed.”

The other kazon looked between themselves shrugged and sat back down to the table, which was multipurpose from conference to dinner to changing dirty babies. Razik puts down the knife and puts on his best Mr Grumpyface expression. You can do whatever you want to a slave, but really you shouldn’t or you’ll have to much out the stables yourself eventually. Nothing is just one thing here, this is a planet that runs on a never ending supply of scarcity. You can’t just go about killing little girls because it’s fun.

“Jabin, he arrived an hour ago.”

“So what’s he like?”

“He thinks that he’s worldly. Cosmopolitan, but he looks like a rat.” Haliz Chuckles

“This rat has made a lot of promises.”

Jabin consoles his most trusted aides “I trust him. His computer models on the process are enticing.”

Ravik sneers “You trust him because you think he understands what we will do to us if he crosses us.”

“We are legend.” Jabin trumpets slamming his fist on the table “Everyone knows what happens to the enemies of the MIGHTY Kazon Ogla!”

“There just something relaxing about skinning someone live.” Haliz ponders whimsically. “And if the blood still pumping, it’s actually possible to get the entire hide all off in one strip.”

“All those colours on his face, is that pigmentation or some sort of velvet?” ravik asks think of what a fine coat he could make form such a beast.

Jabin centres the veering conversation “But when he sells us the weapon, we will be able to unify the entire Kazon Order under a single banner to which we will be it’s most powerful generals and your all but unlimited power is only contingent on my pleasure. We will be remembered by history well!”

“Yes Maje.” His three… friends is not quite the word and frenimies is such an asshat word used in cheerleader movies. But they all say ‘yes maje.” At the same time and that’s my point.

“Even the name of the device is as innocent as it is deceptively erotic.” Haliz waxes sophomorically.

“Drink less. You sound like a woman.” Jabin scowls.

“No. Listen! Metreon Cascade… See?” Haliz tries to illustrate the point of poetry to an audience of thugs. “The insane son of a bitch who named this doomsday device was a poet. I mean consider how secure he must have been to have a bomb that can wipe life off an entire planet and he doesn’t use figurative hyperbola to make the armament terrifying in the press release… Almost as if he was trying to reduce his enemies expectations to the point that The Talaxians were completely unaware at how outwitted and how out matched they were in the final days of their war, which is just fricking hilarious.”

“I changed my mind. Drink more. You sound like a woman.” Jabins can’t contain his bilious laughter because he thinks he made a funny.

“What are we going to do with it first?” Ravik asks.

Jabin leans back in his chair “There’s three obvious tactical options. We destroy somewhere irrelevant and alien like perhaps Beana to prove we are powerful, leading by example the rest of the order will flock to us. Second, we remove the most powerful sect, the Kazon Hobai, creating a leadership vacuum whereafter no one but the unchecked masters of the Metreon Cascade would dare walk into... Which would be a waste of extremely valuable resources and manpower which is why we should probably pick off a couple of the little useless sects like the Mostral or the Pommar forcing the Hobai and others to fear and respect our power kneeling at our feet.”

“When can we expect delivery?” Haliz enquires.

“His story is very complicated’ Jabin explains “The rat still has to gather many working parts hidden from one side of the sector to the other” jabin explains “it’s the decommissioned unused beta test prototype of the final device that destroyed the Talaxian moon of Rinax. He knows people and he knows locations, but it’s not cheap. A lot of people, Harkonans, officials in monkeysuits, have to be paid off before he can get all his duck in a row.” Space ducks. The Kazon are unaware of the existence of Terran Ducks or Terran chickens or Teran monkeys either.

“I said, how long?” Ravik over steps a little thinking that there should be a definitive answer to when the four of them would no longer be just extremely powerful men but GODS OF WAR “There are so many inviting targets that demand we take action against.”

“The smuggler said that he’d need 60 litres of water today to get the last components and confirm some of the code has the most up to date patches, but he wants 10,000 liters of fresh water for the delivery of the final project in 7 days upon his return.”

“A steep price.”

“The man is so parochial. Water is valuable here, since the Caretaker’s People carelessy blanched this world the surrounding systems, but this is where he flitters about selling junk to this one or that, where he chanced upon a prize and this must be his early retirement, however the fool is too stupid to realize that water is only valuable here, and if he was just daring enough to extend his wandering a couple parsecs water is plentiful and in abundance.‘

Ravik lowers the civility in the room “Lets just give him recycled piss. He’ll never know the difference.”

“No. I want this weapon, and I’m not going to risk everything by being petty. We play this deal above board, honorably even and walk out as kings. Hell, lets just make sure that he doesn’t wake up tomorrow with hard feelings about a lumpy mattress becuase… You, Ocampa? Piglet? Hiding in the dark over there. Do you want to be useful for once in your miserable life?”

“Yes Maje.”

“Well it’s not going to be from cleaning up after me. This tent is filthy.”

“Sorry Maje. I’ll try harder I…”

“You are the worst maid in the 12 sectors.”

“Yes Maje.”

“You are useless.”

“Yes Maje.”


“…” Kes holds her breath.

“Please tell me that you’re at least a half decent whore?”


“Right now I need two things. Dogfood, or a whore to entertain a very important guest of mine.”

(Space dog not terran dog.)

“Yes,. Maje, yes… Um, I would be … Honored?”

“You would be honored to be my pets dinner? Excellent. They’ve been looking a little scruffy. They could use a little exercise before the main course. Don’t just jump into their mouths straight away. Run about first, let them play. Nip at your behind. They like a good play. They’re so disappointed when I just chuck them a leg of something or someone. It gives them a little spirit to remind the poor bastards what it used to be like in the wild.”

“No Maje…”


“I mean you misunderstand me I…”

“I misunderstand nothing I am the smartest man in the galaxy! …How dare you.”

“Oh. Sorry MaJe, I mean, I would very much like to, um warm your friends bed.”

“Warm his bed? HA!”

“The language on this one!?”

“Lah de dah.”

“You will give him what’s between your legs (kes doesn’t correct him.) until he is drunk from so much pussy, that my friend is so ass backwards delirious with love and light headed form an empty cherry sack tomorrow, that when it comes to the fine points of the last ticks and checks of this deal, he’s lost the rat wits to counter the final round of negotiations with any verve and I might be able to knock 10 or 20 percent off the final asking price. Do you understand how important your role in this negotiation is?”

“Yes Maje.” Kes is holding back the tears.

Ravik enters the spare “Just a little curious? Are you a half decent lay?”

Kes doesn’t know why and how after all this, that she can still feel embarrassment “I don’t know sir.”

“You don’t know, how can’t you know? Either the man’s eyeballs are rolling back into his skull in ecstasy or he’s throwing a boot at you saying shit like “You useless bitch” …It’s one or the other unless… You’re a damn virgin ain’t you?“

“Yes Maje. I’m very young.”

“Young? What are you 16, 17? 18 at the most? That’s ridiculous and unacceptable! By the time I was 17 I had had five children. You’re really letting the side down.”

“I’m one.”

“You’re one what?”

“I’m one year old.”

“You’re one year old?”

“Yes Maje.”

“What? A year is the time it takes this world to travel around its sun, and not some local Ocampa slang?”

“I’m one.”

“This is hilarious.” Haliz slaps his thigh.

“No” Razik interjects. “We can use this. Tomorrow we can threaten to tell his family that he has sex with children and he’ll have to half the price on the Cascade or his reputation will be soured forever as a kiddy fiddler. Yes?”

“Too complicated, something would go wrong, or he’d just back out of the deal.”

“But…” Razik belabors his point a little too long

I SAID NO” After Jabin raises his voice like that, it’s usual that 90 percent of the time after such a kingly yelp that someone loses their head, literally. He draws his dark brown eyes on the girl again “Go. Fuck him. Learn what it’s like to be a woman, but don’t tell him how old you are till after you’ve finished.”

“Yes Maje.”

Kes doesn’t leave like she probably should do at this moment before it all goes cockeyed. It’s a really good time to leave but she doesn’t. It’s possible that she might be slightly retarded.

“What now piglet?”

“This man..”

Alien, only Kazon are men. Everyone else is just a woman with extra bits.”

“This Alien.. What’s his name?”

“this rat is called Neelix, now off. If he isn’t glowing about you I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”

“Yes Maje. Thank you Maje.”

Exit Kes.
"Glitter is the herpes of arts and craft."

Troy Yingst. My Life as Liz
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