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Old September 20 2012, 12:57 AM   #10
Deranged Nasat
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Location: ...But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete, when I wore a younger man's clothes.
Re: Babylon Five Fic - "Forgive and Forget"


I...I was waiting for my shipment, which I told you all about...

Yes, you did.

I’m sorry. sorry. For most of it, I think.

We’re all sorry, Mollari. But once we are sorry, truly sorry, then we must forgive. Because if we don’t, we have only more burdens. It is a weight none of us should bear.

You bear it.

That is my task, and my reward. To bring into the light that which is in shadow, only to consign it to shadow again. My own shadow. In here. But not in there, Mollari, not in there. Not in you. I will bring you back into your light, only to keep your darkness as my own, and you will be free. One painful step into the light, and then you can pass through that door. Your home is waiting.

What do I do?

You let the crest down. You take the mask off.

He was here. They were here. G’Kar, Delenn, Vir I think. But I do not remember...

Does it matter?

It cannot be forgotten. No. No, more than that, I do not wish it to be forgotten.

Then we have made progress. But now you refuse to forget, it is time to forgive.

Adira. She was here, was she not?, that was before. This is tradition’s fault, you realize. I started to keep my memory in the pages of the Ceremonies, in the records of rituals and court activities and meetings. Yes, I started down that path a long time ago, and I have taken the wrong one. The wrong path. How can you remember when you don’t even want to see the inside of your own head anymore? There’s nothing there, just shadows. Shadows in the court. There were always shadows in the court, long before I knew of them.

The yalnarrs, Mollari, the yalnarrs are always haunting us. Don’t let them frighten you with their illusions. There is still a door open, another path still open to you. Accept it, and come through.

No, no I remember the cities. Cities, on fire! I heard him - I heard him come to....Vir! Vir, what have you done now, hmmm?

Let it go.

It is not my choice. The Keeper...

The Keeper is dead, Mollari


Yes. Dead.

That can’t be.

Can’t? You don’t want it to be.

I cannot believe that.

You don’t want it to be!

Nonsense! You’re speaking nonsense!

No, Mollari. You don’t want it dead because then you have to accept that YOU have the choice, that you make the decisions that truly matter, and you always did. A lifetime of responsibility, you call it. But did you ever truly embrace the responsibility that really matters? Or did you just throw it all off with everything else that mattered? You were tired of the masks, and so tired of wearing them. But underneath, it was empty. But it shouldn’t have been, because you had responsibilities and you ignored them. No responsibility that you would acknowledge, even as everything you did was justified by it. And at hearts, you know that to be true. Am I right?

I...I don’t know. Yes. Yes, you are right.

I remember your Dancers. The flames? You see, I have been paying attention. You’re still looking for a way to keep that candle burning, but it’s futile. It goes out. Its time to let go, Mollari. At the very least you’ve earned it. Or quite possibly deserved it; who can say? Yes, you’ve reaped your final reward well, and it’s time to accept it. How long can we stay here? How long can you remain in darkness? You are forearmed, Mollari. This is your final choice. You’re not wanted anymore - or perhaps you’re being brought home at last? It’s not my decision, it’s for YOU to decide. Are you ready? Will you step out of the shadow, put out the flickering candle flame and spin out into that next arch? The arch out beyond, where the Dancers go? The door’s open, the arch beckons beyond. It is the rule, Mollari. And it cannot be broken.

You’ve seen her, haven’t you? You know where she is...

She was here, Mollari. Not for long....

Yes, yes, I...I remember. I...Adira...

I helped her on her path. As I help you. But that journey is passed now.

She’s safe?

No-one is ever safe, Mollari. We are all, however, in the end, forgiven. Because we must ourselves forgive. Because if we don’t, if we don’t surrender the illusion that keeps us trapped and alone in the dark, we can never take responsibility, and we become like your aunt’s ijics; casualties of broken vows dismissed in favour of picking up new masks. Hollow. Hollow forever. How to forgive your victims when you will not even grant yourself that privilege? Letting go is not forgetting, Mollari.

I want to see her.

And you will see her soon, Mollari. You will see her soon. But first you must let this world go. You’ve done penance enough for this lifetime.



I loved Centauri Prime.


So much of gone now.



I...forgive that.

Then you are a wise man.

No. Never that. Never that. I think, however.... I am ready.

Yes, I am ready.

And I am proud.

I will be forgiven?

In the end, Mollari, we are all forgiven.


I’m sorry?


...and will he forgive me?

Yes. Yes, Mollari. Yes he will.

We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile, and nothing can grow there. Too much, and the best of us is washed away.

Last edited by Deranged Nasat; September 20 2012 at 01:23 AM.
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