A couple of additional points:
1) Generations in the 23rd century might be much longer than today. Perhaps Stiles' mom had him at fifty-eight?
2) The Romulan conflict in retrospect seems to be but one of many into which the UFP or its forebears plunged; local conflict is in the nature of the Trek universe. For each local conflict in this diverse universe, then, there would be just one or two actual experts aboard the hero ship. Stiles might hold a grudge for the Romulans, Chekov for the Klingons, but Garrovick might have a bee in his bonnet about the Tzenkethi and Sulu about the Orions. "Bigotry" might be the standard by which the diverse people of Starfleet live - it's merely that it only manifests in specific occasions on specific people. Kirk would not have been exposed to the same environment as Stiles or Chekov or Sulu, simply because he wasn't raised in the same place! (Yeah, later episodes establish that everybody was born in San Francisco and had the same nanny and all, but their formative years could still have taken place at different locations - Sulu at Ganjitsu in the novels etc.)
3) Stiles' distrust of Spock and his entire species is a very rational concern, really. It's not that there would be something wrong about wanting to throw Spock in the brig and send a message to Earth recommending internment of all Vulcans. It's just that Stiles is being circumspect about it, insinuating rather than accusing. Which I guess is the most he dares do, what with Spock being his superior and all.