Mainstream scientists are a bunch of lying arrogant close-minded idiots. Independent science is the way to go. I always choose my homoeopathic doctor. I cleanse my colon regularly. I always put my girlfriend through the polygraph to tell if she's cheating on me... all of them have failed me so far – who could tell? And, you know what? Right now I'm saving money for my new perpetual motion apartment battery pack, because my previous one broke. Ha! And while these corrupt scientists are denying its existence, I'm enjoying my free energy and laughing hard. I hope this time I can get a water-fuelled engine for my car too.
I would like to share more about the amazing things they are hiding from you, but right now I have to run to investigate this crop circle on my cornfield that says “Yellow Submarine is a gullible cuckoo”, and figure out what the aliens are trying to tell me. I think their women want me as their mate because of my superior intelligence.