You suggested people would call for them to take vengeance.
Round and round and round we go.
I said that if the movie unfolded the way you suggested, you can guarantee we'd have had people here arguing that the producers missed the opportunity for Kirk and Spock to be more vengeful after the deaths of Amanda, many starships and billions of Vulcans. (And Kirk's father.)
And they would.
That doesn't mean they "don't understand Star Trek", nor that I necessarily agree with them. These characters do have different life experiences. Their reactions may well be different. Different viewer interpretations, after only one film, are just as valid. We never saw a Spock Prime witness such traumatic events at a young age. We never saw a Kirk Prime grow up fatherless.
The movie was not to your taste. Fine. Please don't bother with the sequel.