I mean holo-wife could not do the telepathy deal either.
But okay, how about if when he goes through Pon Farr he obviously has NO idea what is going on, goes psychotic and kills a bunch of elves. That would be what leads to his banishment, deep into the program.
Plenty of elven women I think, if the vulcan is rather handsome, it should not be a problem. Most holodeck programs have safety protocols as well, so even if he does get in trouble with the elves, he'll survive and perhaps attribute it to either luck or skill.