It is very frustrating, yes. Marvel started promoting the Avengers nearly 2 years before the movie came out and it helped wonders for them. Its about 9 months away and the forced secrecy is kind of dampening the thrust for Star Trek it seems to me. Of course not to me or other Star Trek fans, but the general movie going audience.
That's the thing though, it's way too early for the general movie going audience, get them hyped up now, and there will be nothing left of that hype by the movie comes out. Start all the hype for them now, and by May, they'll be like "Wait, didn't this already come out last year?"
There have been a ton of movies that saturated the market with trailers (at least in theaters) many months, even a year, in advance. When the movie was actually released I had the exact same reaction you described.
Then when the dvd is released, I'm like "didn't that movie just come out?"