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Old August 9 2012, 10:33 PM   #13
Bixby
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Re: Star Trek Secret Voyage: E01 Whose Birth These Triumphs Are

Secret Voyage's first episode was a good first effort, still with some rough edges, but I encourage the group to keep at it, and like all the other fan ''studios'', to strive to keep polishing their films with each installment.

I would just have a few comments on some elements that, quite frankly bugged me as I was watching:

(1) The randomly-placed cutaways to ''reaction'' shots of Mercer as he listens to Admiral Hernandez smack more of nightly-news type of cutaways, rather than clear emotional reactions by the actor to what is being said by another (4:44 to 4:57 ; 5:00 to 5:40)

(2) I realize this is a fan-film, but the sight of what are supposed to be members of Starfleet, as far as I know a semi-militaristic body, sporting some VERY unmilitaristic hairdoes takes me right out of the story. I'm speaking about the red-headed security guy (13:10), Banks the geologist (13:19), and Albright the super-curly-haired security guard (13:39)

(3) At the 21:57 mark, there are two totally different cast shadows of what is supposed to be the same crab-like monster, one shown before the end of ''act 1'', and another at the beginning of ''act 2''

(4) Too many jump cuts! At 23:53-24:30 as Jones and redshirt search around, and at 34:17 as Mercer approaches Dr. Bernice, to name two examples. Longer takes broken with tighter angles on the characters would make those bits less jarring...

(5) Maybe I've been spoiled by Starship EXETER's B'Fuselek, but I just find U'nara the Andorian to try too much to play ''Vulcan Lite'', rather than a different interpretation of alien. Also, she shouldn't really respond to a question by saying ''yeah'' IMHO. I don't think in TOS, the actors ever said anything but a proper YES (well except in ''A PIECE OF THE ACTION'' perhaps)

Last edited by Bixby; August 9 2012 at 10:52 PM.
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