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Old August 6 2012, 11:25 PM   #52
Disrespectful of his betters
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Re: Total Recall - Reviews, Grading, and duiscussions, SPOILERS

I saw it at a sneak preview on Thursday. After the fifth email from the company asking for a review, I sent them one. Not sure they got what they wanted, but ... neither did I.

Good gods, what in the world were they thinking with this crapfest? If you're a big fan of the original movie, don't bother. There's only three things in common - the name of the film, the name of the lead character, and a three-breasted woman has a cameo. That's it.

There are plotholes and logical failings here that make Plan 9 From Outer Space drool in envy.

There are a few fight scenes, and more than an hour of characters simply running. I would compare it with Doctor Who's many "running through corridors" schtick, but Who threw in occasional bits of plot with the running. Total Recall never does.

Frankly, I don't know which moron at the studio read this script and thought it would make a tentpole movie, with a budget that is greater than the yearly GDP of several thirdworld countries combined.

The actors try their best with what little they are given. Colin, bless his heart, obviously worked out in anticipation, as he is in the best physical shape of his career. But, as with Twilight, a pretty face with a crap script does not make a good movie.

The director, the scriptwriters, and every single one of the producers should immediately apologize, resign from whatever projects they are working on, and beg to be stockboys and stockgirls at their local supermarkets.
"Sorry. Wrong movie, buddy."
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