One might argue this is an excellent reason to give up cloaking: it's a strategic weapon of immense deterrence, so great in fact that anybody judged insane enough to use it must be treated with velvet gloves. After all, its deterrence value lies solely in strategic bombing of soft targets, while it is not very effective in ship-to-ship fighting. Anybody possessing a cloak and threatening you with it is thus directly threatening your helpless civilians with it. The only way to counter that is to threaten back - and if you aren't ready to bomb the opposition's helpless civilians, that doesn't work - or sidestep by appeasing and then indeed concentrate all resources on anti-cloak defenses.
Doesn't mean Starfleet wouldn't unilaterally retain the right to operate individual cloakships for spying purposes. They just won't tell the Romulans, and both sides win.
A Klingon Bird-of-Prey sat right on the doorstep of Romulus for several days without being detected in Unification.
...Although how much of that happened because Pardek and Neral allowed it to happen, we don't really know.