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Old August 4 2012, 08:21 PM   #168
JWolf
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Location: Massachusetts, USA
Re: TTN: Fallen Gods by Michael A. Martin Review Thread (Spoilers!)

One thing that doesn't make any sense here is the mind control. If the mind control was what caused the Andorians to leave the Federation, then why isn't the Federation working to do away with the mind control so that the Andorians can take a new vote as to being part of the Federation? Besides, if the Tholians can control the minds of the Andorians, why haven't they done this to other races and a lot sooner then now?

Another issue is there are occasional lines that drop one out of the story with a WTF moment such as...

Vale touched the control stud, and the hatch slid open, causing a serpentlike hiss as the atmospheric pressure between inside and outside equalized.
That is a WTF moment as we are now treated as idiots as we are treated to an explication about atmospheric pressure. The following is a much better way to write that same line without treating us as idiots.

Vale touched the hatch control and the it slid open with a hiss as the atmospheric pressure equalized.
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Last edited by JWolf; August 4 2012 at 09:26 PM.
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