Apologies for not having had chance to read the whole thread but my first reaction thoughts:
Ahhhh. Prometheus, I'd read the reviews. I knew that as a Scott film it would almost certainly be very pretty but as shallow as a puddle (the original Alien is ironically one of the few exceptions, probably because the script was mostly worked out before his involvement) but it still wound up a disappointment.
So the big message of the film is: "God" is probably a dick. Yeah, anyone who's noticed any of human history will likely have worked that out. Hell, anyone who's seen Star Trek V
will know that.
But OK, despite the pretentions the film had no real depth to it. But I was expecting that. And it was pretty (even if the new monsters were generally a bit dull). And I liked the twist that the Space Jockey had been wearing a space suit all along. Though as giant blue men they seemed to be the guys from Avatar
if they became really pissed off skin heads.
Where it fell down, and fell down badly was the characters. Every, single one of them was a complete moron. The first thing we see in the film is skinhead Na'Vi comiting suicide because he can't think of another way to mix up his species DNA with weird いい and put it in the water. And he winds up being one of the smarter characters. In the rest of the film we get:
"Hey, I'm taking my helmet off!"
"Whoops, we've gotten lost despite have mapped the place and no one has noticed we're didn't make it back until the people who set out after us made it back to the ship!"
"I'M GOING BACK FOR THE HEAD!!!"
"I'll just put this weird いい in your drink and then leave you too it. Even though I've already worked out these are WMD's and it could turn you into something that's a threat to me as much as anyone else".
"Hey, we know something killed all these big strong scary blue men but we'll act like Nedry in Jurassic Park
when we see something that the directer clearly told us is supposed to be amazing and cute looking but the effects company made look like an evil penis".
"I'll abandon my watch to go shag Charlize Theron so no one will know those two idiots are in trouble till it's too late" [I'm tempted to let Elba off for this though].
"Even though I want your EVIL MUTANT BABY for my own EVIL ends I'll tell you the news in such a way as to scare the living crap out of you just for いいs and giggles. And once you've cut it out of yourself no one will bother to go check on it". [And was the Scottish doctor in on it?]
"Well, I've just woken up after 2000 years and am surrounded by my creations, who could be in unknown numbers with unknown weapons. So rather than trying to lull them into a false sense of security and finding out the exact situation before making my move I'll kill kill those here and just hope I don't turn out to be out classed before carrying on my mission rather than maybe going home and checking in first even though it's been 2000 years"
And that's just some of them.
What was the point of Theron's character? Her getting off the ship made it look as if there was going to be a final cat fight- which might at least have been fun- but she's instantly crushed to death and basically winds up contributing nothing (there's some vague hints of a "real child" Vs "Built child" thing but it's basically restricted to two short scenes). After all, Elba could have just ejected the life pod thing for Shaw. And why cast Guy Pierce as an old man with a bad make up job rather than just casting an old man?
After the hour mark it got to the point where the only thing I was left looking forward too was how it was all going to end with everything set up for the first one. OK, where are the eggs going to come from, how is the Space Jockey going to get back to his ship and in the chair, what's the origin of the signal... And I didn't even get that much. The ending wound up leaving me really confused until a friend explained to me it's not the same planet as in the first one
. I didn't actually believe him at first. Do those ships just crash a lot then? What the hell was the point of doing it as an Alien
prequel at all if it doesn't even have that much going for it? I'd have been fine with a completely standalone film with no real links beyond a vague shared Universe but including stuff that seemed to be leading to the first one felt self defeating and confusing on that score.
And it was mildly annoying the very well thought out Alien life cycle (OK, ripped straight from nature but still more thought through than most space monsters get) was thrown out here for something sillier. "It's magic goo that will do any old いい as long as people are stupid enough to finger it". The final shot actually felt like something Fox insisted on because they thought you couldn't do an Alien film without an Alien in it.
Frankly, Alien Vs. Predator was better than this, at least it was silly fun. Hell, I've not seen Requiem yet but considering it's presumably shorter and has Michelle off 24 in it it's likely to annoy me a lot less.
"Doctor Elisabeth Shaw" would probably have seemed a nice (presumably intentional but who knows?) Doctor Who
homage if I hadn't seen this the same week Caroline John died making it feel like two hours of pissing on her grave.
Despite the mixed reaction and my own disappointment I can see this doing a Blade Runner though and going on to be seen as a classic down the line. Mainly because those of us who didn't like it are going to forget it very quickly but those who loved it will be championing it hard for years to come.