No, people, listen to io9
, and don't bother!
A film like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is fascinating because it takes our claim that we're "over slavery" at face value — since we've all gotten over it, and it's no longer an issue, let's make a silly-but-taking-itself-kinda-seriously action movie about it. And yet, somewhere along the way, the makers of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter probably realized that Americans really haven't gotten over slavery and the Civil War as much as we like to claim. Hence the fact that this film is really choppily edited — you get the sense that key scenes were taken out at the last moment.
Anyone who wants to see quite how wrong and pointless vampire stories can get should definitely rent Abraham Lincoln at some point. If your friends do drag you to this film in the theater, though, a bit of advice — take a half-hour pee break when he becomes president. The movie literally drags to a halt once he's got the famous beard.
not bothering, also
kill off any remaining life-signs of the rightfully comatose Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
adaptation while you're at it!