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Old June 10 2012, 03:03 AM   #1761
Joel_Kirk
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Location: Chillin' on Ligon II...
Re: Star Trek A To Z

A is for Action. Sweet, loving action from native girls in tinfoil bikinis.
B is for Brawl. Specifically, a brawl with Mr. Finnegan.
C is for computer. Evil computer enslaving a planet that Kirk must double-talk into a programming error or BSD. Thus freeing the puny natives from it's clutches.
D is for Defeating Klingons supplying arms to the natives.
E is for ending a computerized and fully automated war between two planets without any warp capability.
F is for FUBAR. As in how Landru ended up after Kirk took a crack at him.
G is for God slaying. A hobby of Kirk's.
H is for Hotties. Damaged green hotties.
I is for Independent Thought. Kirk would violate the rules to set the mentally enslaved population of a planet free so they could think for and govern themselves(see: Landru, Vaal, ad nauseam).
J is for justified. Kirk was justified to interfere on the mobster planet to right the wrongs of previous contamination by earlier visiting spacecraft.
K is for Klngons, countering their aggression and conquest.
L is for Landru. He had it coming.
M is for Morality. What was right was more important than the rules, so to hell with them.
N is for native girls in tinfoil bikinis or with green skin; again.
O is for Oh ... You know.
P is for politicians. Such as certain Federation ambassadors and other politicians ordering kirk to establish contact with a civilization at all costs. Even disregarding warning beacons or messages in the process.
Q is for Quite a Lot of Women. Refer back to "A".
R is for Rorschach. Kirk's answers are always right.
S is for... Kirk's favorite hobby.
T is for THE. As in "Life, Liberty, and THE Federation way"
U is for the unwritten rule that "you must interfere if the planet is a menace to space navigation. In that any random nearby passing ship might be captured by a long-range tractor beam, space beacon, giant floaty disembodied space hand, or telepathic manipulation from great distances."
V is for Vulcan Poontang
W, of course, is for Why Not?
X is for "X marks the spot." Says James T Kirk. "Where the line is drawn against the tyranny of machine-controlled cultures. Where the battle begins against computer dominated societies that have lost their creativity. Their freedom and liberty. Where life will stagnate and fester and finally end if not allowed to grow and be the masters of their own destinies."
Z is for Zetar, as in "lights of Zetar"...which Kirk wouldn't mind battling or figuring out, just so Scotty would have a little quiet time with Mira Romaine.
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