This episode starts with the Doctor being activated only to find that he is by himself on the ship according to the scanners. The Doctor thinks that everyone abandoned ship, and when he hears noises at his door he is kind of scared, and this was prior to his confusion about being a real boy or not. Why would the Doctor be scared? In “Heroes and Demons” he let a man cut a sword through him (despite B’ellana giving him control of what can and cannot pass through him in that episode, he shouldn’t be worried about being injured in this one.) I still have a problem with the idea that he has emotion. I see the need for him to have these emotions, but I think it’s a plot hole because if Data spent his whole life trying to create emotions for himself, I’m not sure how someone else was able to create digital emotions for a hologram.
The Doctor is able to travel to the bridge to help Janeway. While on the bridge, Neelix calls for help. He was in the mess hall fighting a Kazon; gun vs. fruit, and he still has enough confidence to smugly mock the Kazon with a “Missed Me!” The Doctor goes behind the Kazon and attacks him, giving Neelix enough time to get a sauté pan and smash him across the head. Then Neelix freaks out when he thinks he has a little blood on his shoulder. The Doctor, mockingly, tells him don’t panic it looks superficial. Then when the Doctor thinks he is bleeding Neelix, delivers the same line back to him, just as haughtily!! The Doctor is really confused because he is showing life signs and the computer claims that he is a real person, Dr. Zimmerman. The Doctor is told that he is the human and that the rest of the VOY are holograms.
Barclay appears out of nowhere and claims that The Doctor was Dr. Zimmerman and had created the VOY program in order to test psychological effects of solitude. Then my darn library disk skipped again and I missed a large part of their conversation. It was something about The Doctor not remembering who he was because of radiation. Barclay comes back and claims that the Doctor has to destroy the VOY in his “simulation” in order to live and end the program. All of a sudden the scene shifts to when the VOY was first catapulted across the galaxy. Then the Doctor claims that Paris was annoying and he deleted him and then KIM!!! (I bet everyone on the ship wishes that they could just delete Kim when they didn’t want to hear him whine!) The Doctor is becoming skeptical and suddenly Chakotay appears. Chakotay claims that the Doctor was on the holodeck and there was a surge that created a feedback loop and that if he destroyed the ship he would delete his own program.
The doctor struggles with who he is, partly because Kes is supposedly his wife. She tells him he is a real flesh and blood person. Chakotay counters her by saying that what matters is who he is as a life-form, not what makes up the body he walks around in. Kes tells him that he loves her and I hear, “I always wanted to tell you Kes….” (And yes, my disk skips again! GRRR!)
Next thing I know, the Doctor is back with everyone and it is revealed that he is The Doctor. Oh, but Then Kes and the Doctor have an awkward moment….something about him not really loving her, his wife. He starts yelling about it not being real, and that it was another delusion. Barclay shows up again, begging him to destroy the ship, saying that time is almost up! He shouts one more time, dedicating himself to his position of being a hologram and convinced that there is another feedback loop. Then, as a dozen different holograms of Paris, Kim, the Captain (speaking with his own voice) and then a wounded version of Zimmerman all merge together, he screams and starts to pass out. Suddenly, the Doctor is with Janeway and Chakotay on the holodeck, with the crew having fixed the radiation problem.
Favorite part: Neelix taunting an armed Kazon and throwing vegetables in his own defense, followed by sardonically teasing the doctor about bleeding.
Least favorite part: My stupid disk skipping!! It skipped so much this episode felt very choppy and a little out-of-sequence…