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Old May 19 2012, 02:10 AM   #7
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Location: Langley
Re: Battleship: Spoilers, Discuss, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

I've just seen it.

It's stupid. It's not even "good stupid." The story is just idiotic, even for an alien shoot-em-up movie. Not only that, but it's like the writers packed in every navy war movie cliche they could think of, and it was just bad luck that they only remembered the cheesiest ones.

"But A2," you say, "you sang the praises of Battle:LA and it had just as many cliches!" True, but as already mentioned it had more accurate battle scenes, which were also more intense...and the aliens were a hundred times more interesting. The bad guys here were like the Hirogen...without the personality.

The only reason I gave it a "C" is because I'm a naval enthusiast, and I just like to see real US Navy ships maneuvering around. Of course, I was a little dismayed in the first act when the DDG's trapped in the bubble only fought back with their dinky 5 inchers. I'm like "What part of GUIDED MISSILE Destroyer do you not understand?" Then they remembered for the Battleship game scene and started shooting anti-ship Tomahawks like that was all they were carrying. (Burkes usually carry 6-8.)

Then they turned Missouri from a museum to a functioning battlewagon in like five minutes. Not even Bill Adama could do that. Not even the crew of Space Battleship Yamato could do that. And then they just start lugging around a shell the weight of a Volkswagen.

Whatever. The full Iowa-class broadside was cool.
"Understand, Commander: That torpedo did not self-destruct. You heard it hit the hull, and I was never here."

-Admiral James Greer
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