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Old April 18 2012, 12:11 PM   #8
CeJay
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Re: Agamemnon Voyages: The God Particle

DarKush wrote: View Post
Good start CeJay,

I like how you are going back into Trek history and UT history as well to build on what I feel is going to be an epic story. I also look forward to seeing how you handle the Agamemnon crew after writing the Eagle crew for so long. I know how it can be to get attached to a certain set of characters and the challenges that you might face in trying to make a new, or relatively new, crew distinct from your regulars. Granted you have already laid the groundwork, especially for Donners, but I this is still their first time really in the spot light.

Doing a spin off is something I've considered but have yet to find the right mix like I think you have.
I've had a lot of fun coming up with entirely new characters for this and you're right, I've grown very attached to my Star Eagle characters and I do miss them. I'm planning to revisit them soon.

I probably shouldn't admit this but when I came up with the original Star Eagle characters I don't think I was as original with them as I could have been. With these guys I had a chance to think outside of the box more.

Gibraltar wrote: View Post
This really is an epic tale in its breadth and scope, CeJay. You’re giving us the backstory on a source of phenomenal power, and as DarKush pointed out you’re delving into Trek and UT history to do so.

You’re off to a fantastic start, and I especially liked Wesley’s reflections on the ‘rightness’ of his ship and crew… and how he has the presence of mind to savor the present.

I've been waiting for this story for months, and it doesn't disappoint. Nicely done!
I'm glad you were looking forward to this. I too have been very eager to get this story out there after spending so much time with it. Now let's just hope it can live up the the hype.

mirandafave wrote: View Post
I've commented fuller over on Ad Astra CeJay but suffice to say, this is a great start. It promises a lot to come. It seems there are a few origins to be explored here and the interesting time jumps and players involved in it to date adds a lot of mystery. Borg interests are always bad but in a TOS setting could be lethal. The fact that Lexington crew now face going near the Romulan border just adds a further complication to the proceedings and I can't wait to see how this works/ed out. Might I also add that is cool to have a Lexington tale to boot too.

And then there is the fact that as yet we have not met the Agamemnon crew and are left wondering how it will fit into this story and why the time frames. All very interesting. I'm also looking forward to reading your new crew and seeing how they work out. Great start.
There should be complications a plenty in this story.

I'm glad you like the Lexington appearance here. I had fun writing for Lexington in Crossing Over, harking back to the good ol' TOS days. And this time it's for real. In a manner of speaking.

Agamemnon's crew will make its official debut shortly and you should get some answers to your questions as this story unfolds.

The Badger wrote: View Post
A very interesting start. The introduction is fascinating, the Xenarth portrayed as a genuinely alien race, but with characters and motivations we can understand. Then we get to the Lexington, encountering one of those 'space phenomenon that knocks the ship about a bit and kick starts the plot' events that are used so often on Trek. But they're used for a reason. They work. And now the ship has to investigate, even though there are---very believable---reasons for the crews reluctance.

I'd also like to praise the depiction of Kettaract. Another Star Trek trope, the guy who's assigned to the ship for an important project and manages to annoy everyone, it would be easy to present him as a cardboard cliche. Yet, even in this short appearance, there's a touch of depth to his characterization.

One slight quibble. In the following exchange:

[...]

The way it is written, it looks like the line “'Doctor, we all appreciate the importance of your work –“' is spoken by Lawford. So the reference to a 'burly Russian first officer' in the next paragraph is rather confusing, especially as he isn't named until several paragraphs later. I was able to work it out, but it did rather interrupt the narrative flow for me.

That aside, a very good start. I'm looking forward to more.
Hey, thanks very much for checking out this story.

I do like to use certain cliches from time to time and I'm of the firm opinion that you cannot write a TOS-era story without having the crew thrown around bit. That's just part of the experience. And who doesn't like a mad scientist?

I'm glad the Xenarth work out for you. I can't take all the credit for coming up with the race. I believe D'noth actually came up with the name.

I hear ya about your quibble and I will make that less confusing in the final version.

Dnoth wrote: View Post
This is why I love fan fiction. There are so many lines in canon that demand a full story in their own right. This is one of them and I'm delighted you've picked it up. I can't wait to see what you do with it.
My thoughts exactly. Even though I've never been great in incorporating canon material in my work, I love it when it works. Let's hope it does here.

Thanks for reading and commenting everyone. More on the way.
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