View Single Post
Old March 29 2012, 08:37 PM   #21
Guy Gardener
Fleet Admiral
Guy Gardener's Avatar
Location: In the lap of squalor I assure you.
Re: Janeway against the Xindi...

I disagree with almost all of those so called victories.


. Janeway ran away in Scorpion, Was allowed to runaway in Dark Frontier, was rescued by One in Drone and was rescued by Admiral Janeway in Endgame... I suppose Unimatrix Zero is a victory in so that Janeway didn't crumble and gave the Borg resistance a chance to get their shit together, but still, the Resistance did the heavy lifting after she played for time, and then she ran away very very very slowly while the resistance zipped about at transwarp. What's up with that? It's like they weren't grateful?

Kazon. Tools of Seska. The only reason they didn't kill kathryn in the pilot is because there was no longer an Array to fight over and Janeway ran away. Considering the reinforcements she was so scared of were most probably launching from Ocampa, that's the direction she ran away from which meant that kes didn't get to pick up a change of clothes or any keep sakes.

Vidiians They Destroyed Voyager in Deadlkock. Killed B'Elanna three times in faces, Killed Durst too and pinched a lung off Neelix in their first encounter when Kathy promised to go postal if they every can within her reach ever again. The Vidiians were technologically superior and outnumbered Voyager in half their conflicts, gods below, in Resolutions, Tuvok used a flash bang to blind a Vidiian convoys sensors and then ran away when they weren't looking. It was strictly amateur hour.

Hirogen. Seven gave them their 8472 prey in Prey and they strutted off victorious, Janeway forced technology down their throat as they came to a MAD conclusion that no one could win Voyager without destroying the ship in the Killing Game. Draw. Meanwhile in Flesh and Blood Janeway treated them like she was on a humanitarian mission rescuing idiots from a little bit of rain, but that just thought she was a sanctimoniouis prick and which she would &^%$ the hell off.

Malon The Malon rescued Janeway in Night and then refused to have their society manhandled by Federation recycling technology. Then in a pout Kathryn vandalized a wormhole dead to save some critters. Later in Renaissance Man they locked her in a cupoard and used the Doctor like a gimp by threatening Janeways life. Epic fail against these wannabe Sontarans. Locked in a cupboard. A cupboard in a tiny shuttle piloted by two fatties. It's embarrassing.

Q She kept her legs shut. Is that a victory? Was he really trying to spread them?

Bomar Raven? Wow. This is so a nonplussing episode about nothing. Saying there's any relevance in how Janeway tresspassed across a lawn to find her lost drone, then had to scurry away, because she was so in the wrong that it would have been insanely illegal for her to shoot back at the police men who resented her shitting on local legislature. i really don't understand why this one was brought up. Janeway just came across as a bully.

Devore She got one over on (sexy) Colonel Klink because she hinted that she would open her legs. But if the Devore decided that they wanted to melt Voyager down for trafficking in illegal and dangerously immoral contraband, federation law insists that she put her head on the chopping clock and take what ever they thought she deserved... Kathy beat a man, not an empire. but still a victory nether the less.


Xindi Johnny was so conflicted. Future boy talks about symbiotic assimilation, and Archer counters with orgasmic war crimes until he's meat on a hook in a freezer and suddenly it's "lets be friends Degra". Russel brand got fired for ringing up Manuel from Fawlty Towers and informing the actor that he knew his granddaughters names and that they were really good looking teenagers. The Xindi were just a tool being used by the Sphere Builders. Johnny had to figure that much out first... Actually succeeding in killing the Xinid would have been an epic fail, mowing down pawns while ignoring the opposing king and queen. Future boy saved the day, but Degra was the true hero, Johnny was just a bitch in the wind.

Suliban. They were the good guys. The shimmering frakk they were working for wanted to save Johnny from an early death and use him to build the Federation in his image. If John had taken out the Suliban in the pilot, Enterprise would have blown up in Coldfont and the Sphere builders would have toxified all space in the galaxy and eventually maybe the universe?

Klingons? They won every time. The closest John ever came to winning is when he faked the paperwork to say that he was still in prison when he wasn't. Is he a lawyer or a space adventurer? #### me. Besides on his watch they got a dozen times stronger, smarter, faster and going from the human Supermen, a dozen times more batshit too.

Space Nazis!!! You ever watch that renovation show where that crazy f%%k blows up someone's house and replaces it with a better house? As far as Archer was concerned that time line was condemned and an alien threat to everything he held dear. if he did his job right, everyone on earth was going to be dead in a few hours so it really didn't matter how many millions he killed on the way to killing not just the billions on earth by the entire universe as time rewrote because that Earth he was standing on could never be his, and his would never "be" inso as long as this abomination existed. Shooting buildings? Jonathan should have been comfortable igniting the atmosphere to get Vosk, gosh Enterprise's Phase Cannons should have been able to burrow straight down 40 miles until they triggered a Volcanic reaction and all of America sunk into the ocean. Space Nazis my ass. That planet was the problem, and there was no fixing it, he had to go back in time and save Lenin or get help from a faction in the temporal cold war who felt kindly toward him and if blowing up the planet didn't get some ones attention, well they just weren't paying any damn attention, were they?
"Glitter is the herpes of arts and craft."

Troy Yingst. My Life as Liz
Guy Gardener is online now   Reply With Quote