Thanks for putting in all of that effort, but I knew all of that already. OTOH, it's also useful to explain my joke: In German it tends to be vastly more common to form long, multi-clause sentences, and unlike in English, it is not considered a stylistic sin to do so.
One of the telltale signs of an inexperienced English speaker hailing from a German background is sentences of that nature, replete with comma-placement following German grammatic rules. And "break up your sentences!" is an often-heard admonishment in German English classes. In fact, even having majored in English in school and using English very frequently, I'm still prone to forming far longer sentences than is considered good, clear English a lot of the time.