I'm not sure "trying harder" would've necessarily gotten Bashir a sexual harassment charge... you could also interpret "trying harder" as meaning "trying harder to be more mature and more appealing to Dax," essentially trying harder to change himself, not trying harder to change Dax's feelings.
, do you mean that you don't see how this episode doesn't fit in with Bashir's Big Secret
that's revealed in Season 5? I think TheGodBen
figures that the Lethean surely would have come across the Big Secret About Julian Bashir pretty quickly, and we, the audience, would've found out about it too.
On the other hand, we could retcon it by saying that the Lethean recognized that Julian's feelings of inadequacy are more deep-seated than his anxieties about his secret, since it's made clear in Season 5 that Bashir did indeed feel "behind"
. And, therefore, those feelings were stronger "ammo".