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Old February 5 2012, 08:12 PM   #4
lvsxy808
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Re: DS9 Season 10, ep 10x13 - "The Case of the Flamping Flurble"

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ACT TWO


FADE IN:


19 EXT. WADI HOMEWORLD SURFACE – LATE NIGHT

Where we left it. No runabout. Nog is freaking out, pacing back and forth with his head in his hands.

NOG
Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no...

JAKE
Nog, calm down...

NOG
Calm down?! Kira’s gonna kill me!

JAKE
We’ll figure it out...

NOG
(continuing)
You’re in charge, she said.
Look after the ship, she said.

JAKE
Are we sure this is even the
right parking space?

PRYNN
(sad nod)
Yeah. Flim twenty-seven pag.

NOG
(continuing)
All our clothes are in there,
our uniforms, our phasers,
vital tactical information...
(sudden thought)
My favourite tooth sharpener!

RENA
How could someone have taken
the ship? Aren’t there any
security... things?

PRYNN
Dozens of them.

JAKE
But apparently somebody can get
around them.

PRYNN
(turns to Shar)
Shar, can you sense anything?

Shar stops and bobs on the spot for a moment, listening.

RENA
(sotto)
What’s he doing?

PRYNN
Andorians can sense electrical
fields. Their antennae.

Shar shakes his head, unconcerned.

SHAR
Nope. Not a thing.

With an amused sigh, Prynn reaches up and removes the balls of tinsel from Shar’s antennae.

PRYNN
There. Better?

SHAR
Nope. Music’s too loud.

JAKE
(suddenly realizes)
We’ve still got our combadges.

Jake pulls out his combadge and taps it – it makes a dull squittering noise. No good. Prynn does the same, then Rena. No luck on either of them. Nog is still freaking, pacing back and forth.

NOG
No no no no no no...

SHAR
Wait a minute!

The other four all turn to Shar in hope that he has some wonderful magical solution to their problem.

SHAR
Where’s the runabout?

Slightly annoyed blank stares.


CUT TO:


20 INT. WADI POLICE STATION

On the Wadi Chief of Police, MUNAD:

MUNAD
A road trip?

Nog face palms. Deep breath. Stay calm.

NOG
Yes, a road trip. We’re from the
Alpha Quadrant, the Federation.
We came here just to have some
fun at the casino for the night.
When we came out of the casino,
our ship was missing.

Nog sits in a seat across the desk from Munad, in his office at the police station. The trim, middle-aged, uniformed Wadi male is rather harassed, trying to be nice to these strangers, but really doesn’t have time for this.

Jake, Rena and Prynn sit elsewhere, all feeling very out of place wearing their party clothes in this stern station. They are also slightly embarrassed that Shar is at the back of the room, still dancing away to the non-existent music.

MUNAD
Your ship...
(checks notes)
A “runabout,” you called it?

NOG
(trying to
stay polite)
Yes. That’s the type of ship.
Its name is the Rio Grande.

MUNAD
I see. And... what exactly do
you think I can help you with?

NOG
You’re the Chief of Police,
aren’t you? When I asked at
the casino, they sent me to
you. I assumed you would help
us find our ship!

MUNAD
Mister Nog, I am the Chief of
Police - of the largest and most
popular gaming complex on Wadek.
I get about a million people
from all over the quadrant –
(re Nog)
- and beyond, coming through my
town every hour. Not all of them
are reputable. Do you have any
idea how many ships get stolen
every day around here?

JAKE
So you’re just going to do nothing?

MUNAD
(indignant)
My officers and I work every
hour of the day and night to
ensure that this complex’s
customers even wake up in the
morning. There are some very
unsavoury characters lurking in
this town. In fact, we just got
a rumour that one of the most
notorious criminal gangs in the
sector is on their way here. So
forgive me, but a little petty
theft is never going to be my
highest priority. I’m sorry.

NOG
So what are we supposed to do?

MUNAD
I’ll take your report, and I’ll
do everything I can. But I can’t
promise much success. My advice
would be to try and find some-
where to sleep for the night.


21 EXT. WADI STREETS – LATE NIGHT

The lights and sounds of the casino complex can still be heard, but far in the distance. The gang is now far from there, literally and figuratively. Run-down building fronts and businesses locked up tight for the night. Hard metal shutters and graffiti imply not the nicest part of town.

Nog leads the group with a piece of paper in his hand, checking it for directions periodically. Prynn keeps an eye all around, feeling rather vulnerable here. Shar is still in his own world, although starting to sag a bit.

Jake walks hand-in-hand with Rena, worried for her.

JAKE
I’m so sorry about this, Rena...

RENA
Hey, I knew what I was getting
into. Not your fault.

JAKE
Are you okay, though?

RENA
Well, I am currently stuck on
the opposite side of the galaxy
with no way to get home, and no
belongings except for a skimpy
party dress and a cute purse.
But, on the plus side, I don’t
think I could have any better
companions in that situation
than three Starfleet officers
and the son of the Emissary.

Jake looks forward to Nog, with a sigh.

JAKE
We’re all gonna die.

Ahead of them, Nog has stopped.

NOG
Guys – I think this is it.

The gang stops with Nog, and together, they all look up at the building before them. It’s like an alien Bates Motel, or the house from Rocky Horror – large and imposing and gothic. It’s distinctly shabby and run down. One can almost imagine the bats swooping between the gargoyles.


22 EXT. HOTEL – LATE NIGHT

A nervous finger reaches in tentatively and presses a door bell. It chimes ominously. Nothing happens for a moment. Finally, slowly, the door creaks open on protesting hinges and with a puff of dust. A face emerges in the gap...

...and BELCHES right in their faces. Far from being ominous or creepy, LEBIKOW is fat, greasy, tattooed and unwashed. The Wadi equivalent of trailer trash, in a stained vest and
sweatpants. He stares out of the doorway...

...at the five nervous, hopeful faces looking up at him. Alien faces of all colours – blue, orange, brown.

LEBIKOW
What is this, some kind of
circus troupe? Y’expect me to
pay you to sing, or summin’?

NOG
Umm... no... sir. I’m sorry,
are you Farns Lebikow?

LEBIKOW
Who wants to know?

NOG
Umm... my name is Nog, sir. My
friends and I need a room for
the night, and Inspector Munad
at the casino complex gave us
your information. He said you
might be able to help us.

LEBIKOW
(suspicious)
Munad, eh?

NOG
Yes, sir. Do you have a room?

LEBIKOW
Yeah, I got a room. You got money?

Awkward pause. Jake turns and looks at Nog, expectantly.

NOG
(reluctant)
I have money.

Lebikow thinks it over. Snorts his nose. Is gross.

LEBIKOW
Awright. S’pose I could use
the pegs. But it’s cash up
front. And I don’t want any
messin’ about, awright?

NOG
Absolutely, sir. You’ll barely
know we’re here.

Unimpressed and muttering, Lebikow turns around (revealing his stained and filthy sweatpants hiked up into his unmentionables) and plods back into the hotel. Making the best of a bad situation, Nog leads the uncertain gang into the hotel. The door creaks shut behind them.


23 INT. HOTEL – FOYER

Lebikow schlubs across the foyer, scratching his ass as he goes. Rena grips tight onto Jake’s hand. He smiles back at her, trying to be encouraging. Prynn has plastered on a big false smile that covers her discomfort. And Shar is just following everyone else, barely aware of where he is.

Nog looks around the foyer. This was probably once a nice building. There’s a grand and elaborate staircase leading to the upper floors, and magnificent chandeliers. But it’s all fallen into disrepair, scuffed and dusty. Half the lights are broken, leaving the place shadowy and dim.


24 INT. HOTEL – OFFICE

Lebikow leads them all into his office, just off the main foyer room. It’s just as messy as you’d expect, with piles of papers and half-eaten food strewn about. A decrepit old comm screen sits on the filthy desk, with a big stein of beer next to it. Lebikow collapses into a creaky old chair, the effort of doing so making him BURP at the same time.

Then there’s a low and dangerous GROWL...

Worried, the gang looks into a corner of the room, and sees an ANIMAL, a gigantic alien dog, dark and slavering. It snarls at the strangers, curled up on its pile of filthy rags in the corner. Prynn stretches the big false smile.

PRYNN
(voice shaking)
Well... aren’t you cute?

RENA
I’d keep your distance if I
were you, Prynn.

PRYNN
Oh, I’m sure he’s a lovable,
harmless furball... right?

She looks at Lebikow, hopeful. He snorts in derision.

LEBIKOW
What did you call him? A “flurble”?

PRYNN
Furball.

LEBIKOW
(chuckling)
You call him a flurble all you
want, darlin’. But you get on
the wrong side of ‘im, and he’ll
flamp yer good an’ proper.

JAKE
We’ll keep that in mind, sir.
Wouldn’t want to get... flamped.

LEBIKOW
So... show me the pegs.

Reluctantly, but knowing he has no choice, Nog reaches into the thigh pockets of his trousers and hauls out a handful of wooden pegs. He places them on the filthy desk. Lebikow looks down at the pegs, then back up at Nog. Waits.

With a sigh, Nog pulls out more pegs and drops them on the table. Lebikow grunts in acceptance. He gets up, takes a deep belly-full breath, and hawks up a great wad of phlegm. He yanks up his dirty vest to deposit the phlegm into, and then just lets it lie, staining the fabric even further.

LEBIKOW
That’s better. Follow me.

Our heroes are simply stunned.


25 INT. HOTEL – FOYER

Lebikow stomps up the stairs, stained trousers right at eye-level for lucky Jake and Rena following right behind. Nog follows, peering at the broken light fittings and decayed woodwork. At the back, Prynn is gently guiding Shar along, since the Andorian is now distinctly unsteady.


26 INT. HOTEL – CORRIDOR

A long and creepy corridor, with many doors to rooms on either side, but no signs of other residents. Lebikow leads the gang past the doors, Shar wobbling along at the back.


27 INT. HOTEL – BEDROOM

Lebikow throws the door open. The gang file in one by one, taking in the sight of the room less than enthusiastically. It’s just as run down as the rest of the hotel, with ratty and unhygienic twin beds, and a single moth-eaten armchair.

PRYNN
There’s only two beds. There’s
five of us.

LEBIKOW
This is the best room I got.
For that many pegs.

Prynn turns and looks pointedly at Nog.

NOG
This’ll do fine.

Lebikow points dismissively at an auxiliary door...

LEBIKOW
Bathroom’s in there.

...and leaves, slamming the door behind him. Prynn and Jake turn to look at Nog. He stands his ground.

NOG
During the war, I spent a
week on a Jem’Hadar fighter
that didn’t even have beds.
By comparison this is luxury.

PRYNN
(sigh)
Fine. I guess we’ll try and get
some rest. And in the morning,
assuming we haven’t all been
devoured by bedbugs, we start
trying to figure out what
happened to the runabout.

JAKE
Who’s going to sleep where? I
don’t really like the look of
that carpet.

RENA
We can squeeze into one bed.
(bashful smirk)
We’ve done it before.

JAKE
If I must. Just try to control yourself.

Rena jokingly slaps Jake on the arm.

PRYNN
Okay. So that leaves the three
of us to figure out who gets
the other bed. Shar, do you -

Prynn turns to look at Shar... and finds that he’s already passed out, totally unconscious in the armchair. Giant sunglasses skewed on his head, dribbling out of the corner of his mouth.

PRYNN
Lovely.


BLACK OUT:


END OF ACT TWO

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