View Single Post
Old January 29 2012, 01:51 PM   #2
Location: PAO Lovecraft
Re: Improve the Third Season

More improvements to SPECTRE, which I consider one of year three's best:

Shoot KIRK instead of Chekov and make it permanent, no illusion. Pull out the rug, Spock. Promote Spock to Captain, Scotty to First Officer and add James Doohan to the opening credits. That'll work.

PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN: Show Uhura and Chapel being jerked about on the Enterprise bridge and sickbay and forced into tne transporter room. Add as much TV-level nudity as possible while they change for the Platonians. Have Scotty kiss Uhura when they are both in relatively peak condition. Don't have Scotty fight it in the slightest.

THE EMPATH: Cut out that interminable 48-minute Act Four sequence where Kirky and Spocko are pinned behind the wall of pink energy. Also please omit Shatner's enema-inducing pain contortions with the Ivory Snow music gone horribly wrong in Act Two.

REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH: Throw this borefest out completely, and consider using the Rayna character for a less snooze-inducing episode. Or......have the landing party be Scotty, Uhura and Sulu and have the Big three be shrunken down with the Enterprise toy instead.

DAY OF THE DOVE: No changes. It's just about perfect. Well, there are two small things. Don't have McCoy lead the sword charge instead of Spock. That's a blooper in procedure. No, have SCOTTY lead the charge in front of Spock. Also, credit Jamie Farr for his two cameos as Scotty's backup in Acts Two and Four.

THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR: Substitute Uhura, Carolyn Palamas or (heh-heh) Helen Noel for Mira Romaine's character. Uhura could actually have her own episode if it's her. Do NOT substitute Chapel. She's already been occupied. And if it must be Romaine, have her head spin around and use her projectile TV-approved vomit on Kirk.

SPOCK'S BRAIN: I don't approve of changing comedies.....but I suppose Uhura could beam down instead of Sulu or Chekov. Also leave the ending open for a sequel of some kind: ''Sulu's Ear,'' ''McCoy's Appendix,'' ''Chekov's Spine, Blood Vessels and Nervous System,'' ''Uhura's Boobs,'' ''Scotty's Penis,'' ''Kirk's Ass,'' that kind of thing. Snark detracted. Pulling out.

Last edited by Foxhot; January 29 2012 at 01:53 PM. Reason: Forgot Chekov.
Foxhot is offline   Reply With Quote