I'm always a bit surprised when I see this sort of thing posted in a Star Trek fanfiction forum.
The level of response the story has received makes me wonder if there aren't more suitable/appropriate venues on the internet for such things?
You seem to be flogging a dead horse a little posting such stories in a forum set up to host Star Trek fanfic.
There are more suitable places, but I like posting most of my stuff at all the places that I post stuff. (Also Moderators have said in the past that Non-Trek fanfics are ok so long as more than half of the fics on the first page are still Trek.)
As far as flogging a dead horse goes, there are well over 2000 views, an average of 100 per installment. If they didn't like it, they would stop reading. If I wanted comments I would ask.
And now I'm asking you, aren't you going to critique it?