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Old December 22 2011, 05:01 PM   #70
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Location: "Who are you?"
Re: Fan Film Writer's Primer

A follow-up to my previous post, hopefully brief. I guess at the moment, I'd rather be talking about Star Trek than getting ready for Christmas!

I didn't directly indicate how I would modify Heavy Lies the Crown to conform to the Three Act Structure that's been the topic of this thread. All I did was indicate how I would begin that process.

Here are some suggestions.
Main Character = Captain Hunter

Inciting Incident = Jamming field on the surface of Chiron IV needs to be disabled within 40 minutes.

Dramatic Question = Can Captain Hunter remove the field, without resorting to a general bombardment within an area near the colony, which will kill everyone in that area?

Plot Point #1 = A pair of obstinate colonists attack Hunter and S'Ceris. Returning fire will kill the colonists, but delay is equally fatal to everyone.

First Culmination = Hunter gains the trust of the colonists without having to resort to violence.

Midpoint = But the area around the field generator is guarded by Surai drones.

Plot Point #2 = By cooperating with the colonists, the drones can be fended off, but time runs out and the away team cannot disable the field in time, and cannot prevent bombardment.

Climax = Hunter uses his own communicator for the ship to target a surgical strike. He runs closer, tosses his communicator, and takes cover.
Perhaps something can be done along these lines. Anyway, that's all the time I have till the New Year. Thanks, everyone. Cheers!

ETA: No, I lied, just a couple more points. The trust the colonists show should be begrudging and the cooperation temporary. I really like the dynamic between the colonists and Starfleet. That tension adds interesting depth to the setting, and offers the potential for drama. I think a corollary here is that one of the colonists should have secondary hero status, probably Captain Merik. Furthermore, in the firefight to take out the drones, something tactical is needed to demonstrate that the colonists benefit from Starfleet's presence, not just in space. This is where S'Ceris could shine.

Anyway, just suggestions, Monday morning quarterbacking at that, and perhaps even otherwise totally useless.

Happy Holidays!
“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP” — Leonard Nimoy (1931-2015)


Last edited by CorporalCaptain; December 22 2011 at 05:21 PM.
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