I chimed and waited. A short moment later the door opened and I saw Zamarran’s very surprised face. “Kapoor?”
“Sir, could we talk?”
“Certainly. Come in.” He moved away letting me through.
I had never been in his quarters before but I was not in an observational mood. I looked at him. “Sir, what is going on?”
He moved toward the table to the left. “Sit down, Kapoor. Anything I can get you?” I sat, shaking my head. He put a glass of water in front of me anyway. “So, what exactly are you referring to?” he asked.
“Something is going to happen, isn’t it? It’s about that military reduction matter. Gul Jarol warned me to pack my things and be ready to go home. In fact, she told me to ask for transfer back to Starfleet. Something’s going to happen.”
Zamarran grabbed the mug that stood on the table next to a padd and sipped on its content—fish juice would be my guess. “Have you contacted Starfleet yet?”
“I don’t want to go home,” I said.
He gazed at me and then looked into his mug. “Kapoor, we shouldn’t talk about it. I understand that you are scared and don’t know what’s going on, but this doesn’t concern you. You are not in danger, you can be sure of that.”
He didn’t want to say anything more but I was certain that he knew something. I thanked him for water and went to Tavor. He also didn’t tell me anything; he claimed he didn’t know anything but I wasn’t so sure. I returned to my quarters more scared than when I had left it. Much time hadn’t passed when someone chimed. I went to open the door and when I saw who it was, my knees shook.
“Am I in trouble?” I asked. Did he come to arrest me? In spite of my best efforts, tears filled my eyes.
“Calm down, Kapoor.” Glinn Brenok grabbed my elbow and pulled me to my sofa. He sat next to me. “It was brought to my attention that you were asking questions,” he said.
I sniffed and nodded. “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean anything bad. I didn’t mean to break any law. I’m just scared.” More with every minute. “I hope Zamarran and Tav...Karama aren’t in trouble.”
The glinn shook his head. “They aren’t. And you didn’t do anything wrong.” He rose, went to the table in the corner and took a tissue. He returned to the sofa and handed it to me. I dried my tears but new ones filled my eyes again. “Kapoor, whatever is happening, it will not influence your safety. I know you’re terrified and I know you’re worrying. You’re in a foreign empire, among strangers and you don’t understand a lot of what’s going on, but please believe me—we will not allow anything to happen to you. We don’t want anything to happen to anyone. Trust me.” He spoke softly, like talking to a child, as if I were a little girl who thought there were monsters under her bed.
I trusted him. Glinn Brenok was one of most honourable Cardassians I had ever met. He was also very different from the others. There was something in him, something that I couldn’t specify but could clearly feel.
“Glinn Brenok, something is going on, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Yes,” he confirmed.
“Can you tell me what?”
He shook his head. “No, Kapoor. This is not for your ears. This is a Cardassian matter.” He silenced for a moment.
I waited for him to say something more, but he hesitated too long—I cracked and I burst into tears. “I’m terrified!”
He moved closer and rubbed my back. “Shhhh, Kapoor, shhhh...”
Not really knowing what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around him and nestled to his chest, sobbing loudly. When I realised what I’ve done, I quickly moved away. “I’m so sorry!” Why didn’t I crack on Tavor’s chest, why Brenok! My Cardassian superior! “I’m so sorry, sir!”
He took my hands in his. “Kapoor, calm down, calm down, Kapoor.”
“I am so...” I felt I was losing it again.
“We will send you home safe and sound, all right?”
I shook my head. Not without Tavor, I was not going anywhere without Tavor.
He patiently waited for me to calm down; he didn’t let go of my hands. His palms were rougher than Tavor’s, his fingers longer and his skin was a brighter shade of grey. I looked at his hands, because I didn’t think I could look into his eyes. Finally, I raised my head to look at his face—it had a gentle expression. He smiled at me. He put my hands on my thighs. “Better?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry, Glinn Brenok. It’s just...I don’t know what’s happening and I don’t like that feeling of uncertainty. I didn’t want Glinn Zamarran or Gil Karama to be in trouble because of me. I didn’t want to spy.” I kept speaking fast, nervously. “Please, I don’t want them to be in trouble. I just...I just...”
“Kapoor, I already told you: no one is in trouble. Glinn Zamarran notified me that you had questions. That’s why I’m here.”
“Glinn Brenok...are you going to kill the castellan?” I whispered leaning to him.
He shook his head. “No, Kapoor, we’re not. I give you my word for that.”
I believed him. But I was no less scared.
“I have to go,” he said softly. “Will you be all right?”
I stayed alone in my quarters. I had lived here for over a year and this place had started to feel like home long time ago. However, right now it felt a lot less friendlier.
I wanted to talk to my mum, I wanted to call her and see her face...but I wasn’t sure I would be able to. What if they blocked communication? What if they blocked communication from me to Federation space
? Would they think I tried to spy on them? That I tried to tell my superiors about upcoming...something? About Cardassian military’s mutiny?
Oh, for Shiva’s sake! They were going to refuse to take orders from their government, weren’t they? They were going to go rogue? To rebel? Cardassian army let lose, cutting off their leash and totally uncontrolled!
Would they go to war with the Federation if the Federation didn’t withdraw their demands?
I rolled on my sofa and cried, choking on my tears.
I wanted to go home!