Dramatis Personae (*½)
This episode starts out promising as Sisko and Kira are potentially set up for a conflict over a Valerian freighter and the possibility that they're supplying weapons to the Cardassians. Actually, we haven't even seen any Cardassians since Past Prologue
, which is weird considering they were set up as the show's main villains in Emissary
, so this episode will finally return to them and their devious schemes, yes?
No! Because some Klingons show up and screw everything up, which is so like them. They bring some sort of telepathic virus that makes everyone act weird, as if they were characters from some sort of ancient alien play. Sisko obsesses about building a clock, Kira becomes all sexualised, and Jadzia keeps telling old stories about her past, like that one time she got to second base with a librarian in a library and didn't get caught by her boss or anything (hey, I'm getting better at telling stories). Whatever happened to the days when viruses gave you a sore throat and caused mucus to come out of your nose? Anyway, Odo doesn't have a real nose or throat, so he's immune to the virus and has to figure everything out before people start dying. Although not soon enough to save Jadzia from the most powerful backhand known to man
. Nobody can slap a woman as well as the Irish can.
I don't know, for most of this episode I may as well have been watching the adventures of the USS Walt Whitman (it so too is a starship). Sisko isn't Sisko, Kira isn't Kira, and all the stuff about the conflict between the Federation and the Bajorans is just window dressing. The only people that are themselves are Odo and Quark, and there's not enough of them to hold the episode together. Ultimately, none of this means anything. It could have had the main characters contract a virus that forces them to relive A Charlie Brown Christmas
and it would be the same basic plot.