28 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR
Dim lighting – it’s after hours and the bar is closed. Muffled voices coming down the stairs precede Malic, leading his two thugs, who are manhandling the struggling Treir. She’s still in her negligee, with the sack over her head, pulled tight enough to stifle her terrified protests.
Come on! The power tap won’t
hold for long. We need to be
on the ship and away before
they discover it.
The two thugs drag Treir on. They approach the front door of Quark’s, nearly away scot free...
...And suddenly all the lights come up. Malic jumps in surprise and looks around...
...to see that Quark is standing behind him, in the centre of the bar.
The thugs drop Treir in surprise, and she desperately staggers out of their way. She runs into Ro, who is just emerging from hiding behind one of the spiral staircases. Ro helps her, takes the sack off her head.
Kira emerges from hiding too. Then Prynn. Then ETANA, RICHTER, MATTHIAS, AYLAM and any other female crew member we regularly see. Nog and Shar appear from near the door, where they’d been operating the lighting controls. Cenn is there too. Bowers. Hetik. Hell, let’s even throw Morn in for a laugh. They all join Quark in the middle of the room, making a line, confronting Malic.
Malic panics. He turns to make a run for the door...
...when TARAN’ATAR unshrouds right in his path. Malic whimper-shrieks in fear, and retreats behind his two thugs. Even the thugs stare up at the Jem’Hadar in terror... and Taran’atar reaches out and calmly grabs both thugs’ heads, and bonks them together. They slump to the ground, out cold. Now Malic is alone.
Alright! You got me! But you’ll
never make it stick and you
know it. I’ve got a finger in
every pie in the quadrant.
We don’t need to make it stick,
Malic. We’ll always be here to
stop you, whatever you do. Me...
...and all these females.
If you ask me, it looks like
they know their place - letting
their man speak for them.
They don’t need anyone to speak
for them, least of all me. They
set up this trap, and idiot that
you are, you walked right in.
Quark parades up and down in front of the line of people, pointing out each person as he refers to them.
Taran’atar tailed you from the
moment you left your shuttle.
We knew exactly what you were
up to. Nog and Shar found the
power tap you installed, and
faked the power cut so you’d
think your plan had worked.
Cenn, Bowers... took a break at
exactly the right time to make
it look like your way was clear.
And they did it all under the
orders of these females, because
they know that these females are
the equal of any male... and a
lot better than some.
Never! Females will never be
the equal of males! You’re a
Ferengi, Quark! I know you
agree with me!
Actually, no I don’t.
He walks up to Treir, and looks up into her face. Doesn’t even check out the negligee.
This woman is intelligent,
powerful, and brave. She knew
what was going to happen, and
she put herself at risk to
make sure you were stopped.
Treir smiles shyly, a bit flattered. Quark turns back to Malic...
She’s also as good at business
as any male I’ve ever met. And
I’m prepared to say it out loud,
because I’m good at business
too. I know how to make the
best use of my resources, and
that means acknowledging when
I’ve got good employees.
Malic tries to muster as much indignant rage as he can.
Treir is not your employee,
Quark! She’s my property!
No, she’s not. She’s nobody’s property.
Quark pauses, seeming to come to a decision with himself.
In fact, as of... oh let’s say
ten minutes ago, I officially
accepted Treir as a citizen of
the Ferengi Alliance, and you
know what that means. According
to current Ferengi law, females
are equal to males in all things.
Treir smiles victoriously at Malic. Quark enjoys Malic’s growl of frustration.
It also means that you tried to
kidnap a Ferengi citizen from
sovereign Ferengi ground. That
is a major diplomatic offense
against the Ferengi Alliance,
Malic. I’d be fully justified in
ordering those three Marauders
out there to open fire on your
shuttle right now.
Kira and Ro exchange a worried glance – exactly what they didn’t want. The tension is growing.
You won’t fire. You’d never
risk damaging this precious
station of yours.
Not a problem. They’ve had your
engines and weapons targeted
since they got here. And right
now they’re manoeuvring into
the perfect position to take
you out without so much as a
scratch to the station.
Malic can’t take any more. He explodes with righteous anger and frustration.
And then they’ll send an army
to blow you all to pieces! You
shouldn’t make an enemy of the
Orion Syndicate, Quark. Don’t
you know who I am?
A pause, a moment of silence. Tense stand off.
Then Quark bursts into gales of laughter, huge belly-laughs. Malic is surprised and confused, and not a little embarrassed at being laughed at in public. Gradually, Quark pulls himself under control.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just
– did you actually just say,
“Do you know who I am?”
Quark laughs some more at the sheer absurdity.
You’re nobody, Malic! The Orion
Syndicate isn’t your personal
revenge machine. Think about it.
Why aren’t they here right now
backing you up? Because they
don’t want anything to do with
you! You let yourself get sent
to prison, you practically
handed over vital Syndicate
information to Starfleet...
and you lost Treir. You’re an
embarrassment to them, Malic.
Malic is quite shaken by this. He’s trying to maintain his hard edge, but he’s very aware that everyone is watching him. He tries one last attack.
I’m nobody? Who are you?
Quark straightens, puffs up like a peacock.
I’m the Ambassador.
Now get out of my bar and off
my station, before I bring down
the might of some extremely
impatient DaiMons on your cute
As far as Quark is concerned, it’s over. He turns away. Malic is beneath his notice. Kira steps forward.
Taran’atar... would you please
escort Mister Malic back to
his shuttle. Just to make sure
he doesn’t lose his way.
Taran’atar reaches down, grabs the two unconscious Orion thugs by their collars and hoists them up as if they weighed nothing. Malic is duly impressed and terrified.
Malic stumbles forward and out of the bar. Taran’atar follows, carrying the thugs with ease.
The tension in the bar starts to release. The gathered people split up and go their way. Treir walks up to Quark and throws her arms around him in a big grateful hug.
Thank you, Quark. Genuinely.
Quark is quite happy with how things turned out. But of course he won’t say so.
Go on. Get some sleep.
She nods, and starts to head back up the stairs towards the holosuites. But Quark calls after her.
And don’t think just because
you were up late you can get
away with being late for your
shift in the morning.
Treir smiles – she knows it’s just Quark being Quark.
I won’t be. Night, Quark.
And she heads off upstairs.
29 INT. DS9 – DOCKING RING CORRIDOR
Malic walks down the corridor, followed by his two thugs (who are now awake again), and finally by Taran’atar. Malic is scared of Taran’atar, and embarrassed by the events with Quark. But he’s trying his best to cover it with bravado. The thugs are just throwing nervous glances at Taran’atar.
They turn the corner, and come to the airlock to the shuttle. Malic pauses, looks back at Taran’atar.
We can take it from here.
Taran’atar doesn’t have to say a word to make his thoughts on that clear. Frustrated and annoyed, Malic enters the airlock. Taran’atar stays out in the corridor.
30 INT. DS9 – AIRLOCK (CONTINUOUS)
Malic mutters to his thugs as they traverse the airlock...
Say a word to anyone about any
of this, and I’ll have you both
killed in an instant.
The thugs nervously nod their agreement. The three of them enter their ship...
31 INT. MALIC’S SHUTTLE - BRIDGE
An average, non-descript shuttle’s control centre. The door opens at the rear of the bridge, the thugs lead the way... and immediately find themselves faced with the barrels of two large and threatening phaser rifles. They jerk to a halt, Malic walks into the back of them...
Oof! What are you doing, you
Then he sees the guns. And the large random aliens holding them. He gapes with amazement.
The elaborate captain’s chair is facing away from them... It slowly turns, revealing...
BOKAR, the FARIAN Orion Syndicate agent from 7x11 “Prodigal Daughter.” He sits firmly in the captain’s chair.
Bad day, Malic?
Malic is surprised and worried to see Bokar here. He steps forward, attempting to look brave and confident.
Bokar... what are you doing here?
Oh, just some... unfinished business.
Bokar stands from the chair, and strides calm and confident towards Malic. Bokar’s enforcers make sure to keep their weapons trained on Malic’s thugs.
A former client of ours on
New Sydney was kind enough
to inform us that you were
out of prison, and making a
nuisance of yourself here on
Deep Space Nine. Consequently,
I have been tasked by the
...“reconnecting” with you.
It wasn’t my fault, Bokar. I
was tricked by those aliens, by
those damned Ferengi, by that
(waves it away)
The Syndicate isn’t interested
in your issues with women, Malic.
What the Syndicate is interested
in, is failure. If there’s one
thing the Syndicate disapproves
of, Malic... it’s failure.
Bokar feigns nakedly insincere concern for Malic, who tries his best to hide the shudder of fear...
32 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR
The excitement is over, most of the people have gone. As the last few leave, Ro steps up to Quark. He looks up at her, wondering what horrors she’s about to send his way...
What is the problem now?
After a pause, she leans down and places a soft, tender kiss on his brow. Then she turns and walks to the door, leaving him a bit confused.
She turns back to him.
I didn’t do this to impress you.
I know. And that’s what makes
it even more impressive.
With a smile, she turns and leaves.
Ending on Quark’s bemused but happy face...
END OF SHOW