fwiw, as a straight guy, i've never thought there was any malice in any depictions of LGBT characters in Trek lit. i also thought it was blindingly obvious the reason why T'Prynn rejected Sten was cuz she was a lesbian. subtext shmubtext. it's right there in the text. she's a lesbo, she's not interested in sten. she rejects the union. to me, it couldn't have been more obvious if it had been written in neon letters 10 feet high.
and, since i've skimmed some of the thread i might've missed this, but regarding gay Kingons, Enemy Territory
established that there were 2 male Klingons having a relationship on the Gorkon and that one of those was married - possibly to a female. i remember the character who was told of the relationship knew he had a 'mate' back home, but IIRC, it was ambivalent if it was a female or male.