I actually like FemShep #3 the best, but I like FemShep #5 too, and I'm not surprised she's winning. I don't know why BioWare didn't have a high-quality default face for FemShep like they had for ManShep from the beginning, though.
I think up until now FemShep has on the whole been something of an afterthought and I think in a way that's been a real strength. By sheer practical necessity, 99% of character interactions are the same regardless of Shepard's gender. The net result being a strong female character with out the self consciousness or overcompensation of the more common "tough chick" type personalities. She's a battle hardened marine and naval officer who just so happens to be female. *climbs off soap box*
I don't know if it's really been a strength. They never even bothered to program the FemShep model with appropriate female movements and positions until the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC, if I remember right.
And I'm not going to comment on the latter part of your post, except to say that I disagree about FemShep not being overcompensating. Hale's vocal performance is the very definition of overcompensating.
I just think it was kind of short-sighted of BioWare. They know they have a strong female fanbase, unlike many other gaming companies out there. It just seems weird that they would treat FemShep as sort of an afterthought in the first two games, considering the amount of female fans they have.