Here's one for consideration! :-)
What if Kathryn Janeway is really a transsexual and that was her larger reasoning for distance from Chakotay. Only higher-ups in Starfleet and the Doctor knew.
How about that? Poor Chakotay!
(said tongue in cheek, for levity)
Touching on the male/female tangent above, I don't think we see much in terms of the definition of and relativity of gender in Trek, other than simply Male or Female. I suspect any material of that nature would have been a big 'no no' years ago. But not today. For example, The Gatchaman (Battle of the Planets) (anime) had Zoltar, who clearly batted for both teams, but that part of the story was left out of the release in the US.
I'm just saying.
Now Kirsten, if you really want to spin people's heads on this one!
Okay, back to being serious....