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Old May 23 2011, 04:28 PM   #2656
HAL.9000
Lieutenant Commander
 
Location: Jupiter space
Just got done viewing the latest StarTrek (2009) movie.

Disclaimer: The following review is MY OPINION. Please dont get your panties in a bunch if you dont agree with it, nor feel I am starting trouble by expressing MY OPINION.

OK, I dont usually catch movies as soon as they come out and often wait for DVD releases. So I just got done with JJ Abram's rendition of Star Trek yesterday and...

I didn't really know what to make of it. I can sum it up like this: it's like finding a diamond in a pile of shit.

1. Acting: outstanding (by some). Portrayals of Scotty, Chekhov, Sulu, Bones and Spock where right on.

2. Direction/Production/Special Effects: another win. We finally get to appreciate the internal size of the Enterprise among other things.

3. Character development: Sucked!!!

Romulans came across like greasy humans with pointy ears and tattooed faces. Didn't come across as another alien species at all.

Vulcans came across, again as just humans with pointy ears. Their stoic disposition compromised by subtle emotional attitudes and demeanor. However, Spock came across as more Vulcan than the pure-blood Vulcans...and he's half human. Maybe that was intentional...I dont know.

Gratuitous sex: a sign of an adolescent mind eager to prove "that there is nothing wrong with sex so I'll just show it to prove my point." I felt like I was watching a 1970s flick. A mature mind will say the same but also realize that sex has it's place in society and in film making as well. If it doesnt add to the film then it's just fapping material.

The whole Spock/Uhura love affair was just bizarre. Granted this movie is an alternate reality version of Star Trek (given you can have an old Spock and a young Spock living in the same universe together) but Spock and Uhura? C'mon guys. Next you'll be telling me Darth Vader built C-3PO.

Oh, wait...


Moving along...
Zaldana's portrayal of Uhura was lacking and unconvincing. She did not add to the dignified disposition nor the intellectual demeanor that Nichelle Nichols did to the character. The only thing they had in common was that they are both black, female, and wore 1960s min-skirts.

Kirk in bed with the green chick: Again, just gratuitous soft porn. The green chick came across as some cerebrally vacant white chick in green dye. Nothing more. If you are going to do this, make her exotic (you're getting it on with a freaking alien for crying out loud). Show us why Orion women are know as master's of seduction. Otherwise you just have a fetish for green skin. Shrek, never turn your back on Kirk, so Watch out!!

In short, this movie could have been renamed "Beverly Hills 90210 in Space."

Lastly: Kirk.

Boy I had trouble with his character. I know this is science fiction but as with all fiction, there has to be an element of reality to it, otherwise it's labeled "fantasy."

Since TOP GUN, we were led to beleive that rebels without a cause and those that buck against the system (especially in military like organizations) somehow win in the end for being, well...assholes.

It doesn't work that way in the real world.

Kirk came across as some punk kid that got extremely lucky and was advanced solely on the basis of that luck alone. Furthermore I failed to undertand how Spock, a Starfleet officer suddenly came under the command of this punk kid, or how Capt Pike decided to make him (Kirk) first officer in the first place.

I come from a military background so I have some concept of "chain of command." But this is fiction, so some logic was naturally thrown out the window to make the movie work, I guess.

The Future:

From what I've picked up on line there will be sequels. One thing I read in particular kept focusing on the Pon Farr scenes between Spock and Uhura. Pon Farr is just a fancy term for Vulcan sex.

That alone turned me off so I doubt I will be catching any sequels. No doubt Abrams wants to push the edge, so dont be surprised if Sulu's character comes out as gay in honor of George Takei. When it comes to homosexuality in science fiction I always say there are two possibilities:

1. It has become universally accepted and it doesn't even draw attention.

or

2. It doesn't exist anymore because a cure has been found for it.

#2 always gets people chomping at the bit, but that's another topic altogether.

Overall, StarTrek 2009 would have been a great movie but it fell short IMO.

Last edited by HAL.9000; May 23 2011 at 05:01 PM.
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