What he does scares me not only because it hurts him, but because in real life, the older a person is, the more likely they are to do serious damage to themselves through self-harm.
I hope with time he'll learn there are other ways to deal with guilt and emotional pain.
I imagine there are still things that reach Captain Ram without her intentionally setting out to find those things out, but I imagine she'd handle it a lot better than Lwaxana.
I guess it's unavoidable for a Betazoid to sometimes "hear" something and it would be impossible to completely "turn off" his or her natural ability, but they could handle it with more consideration than Lwaxana who "knew what's on your mind and would let you know what's on hers," as Riker once said.
In a Cardassian library
or in a Cardassian gallery
"Reagan, it appears, is really only an ardent unionist if the unions in question are in Poland" - Stephen King, Skeleton Crew