Note my last line. Flavor and verve are good. I think we pretty much agree. Sometimes it is necessary to describe exactly what you see, others it is a waste. The first example, taken from memory, admittedly, does come from an actual script I read online. There is simply no need in a Trek fan film to overdescribe what is just a transitional shot. A flyby to indicate a passage of time/transition to another scene. YMMV.