You've got to move past this, J. You're not where you want to be in life, and other people seemingly are. And the time has gone by way faster than you ever expected.
I try to keep heart and remember the line from the Desiderata
that says, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. "
Sometimes in practice it becomes difficult.
But you're still young. I think when we start getting up around thirty we think omg, I'm getting old, life is passing me by, I haven't accomplished what I thought I would. But really there's plenty of time to make more out of life.
Yeah, that's exactly how I feel about it.
I feel like an idiot sometimes because I'm going back for a bachelors at 27, surrounded by skinny little girls wearing the latest fashions, going to college events, dating, with their futures wide open before them. But fuck that. The nice thing about getting older is that you know what you want and you're more capable of obtaining it.
You've got to get a more positive attitude, man. No one's life goes exactly as planned, but we take those detours and they become a part of us. You have so much time ahead of you, but it's only worth something if you actually do something with it.
I agree with what you're saying and I know you're right (you should be used to me saying this
). I think my stint of unemployment (going on 27 months now) has really brought my optimism down to a dull finish. A job would give me something to shoot for, a way back to moving forward instead of standing still.
I'd much rather be the optimist I was than the pessimist that sits at the edge of my awareness.