I agree with the OP, that's how it's always seemed to me. And the Billy Crystal line.
This may have worked better over in TNZ, where rthere has been a fairly unrestrained discussion on similar themes, which explicitly disagrees with the OP.
(I said explicit, hur hur hur.)
But how can the resolution of this "problem" be the responsibility of women, when it is men's perceptions of women that, historically contribute the most to the cause?