"When Sarah arrived at the party, Paul had already gone home."
But how about the continuation? "She remembered when he had come to the ship. ... " and past perfect past perfect and past perfect for whole paragraph? Isn't it too much of Past Perfect? I don't remember reading something like this in any book (I could have not paid attention, so I don't claim there wasn't such case, I just don't recall).
Nerys, you ARE very skilled artists. I love your drawings. The "mar'kuu" animal was inspired by your drawing of the riding hound. I imagine it as a combination of a dolphin with Cardassian ridges, the spoon on its forehead and a tail like Galor class warship