Gul Re'jal wrote:
There are two placed you may find awkward. I wasn't sure if I should use Past Perfect for whole paragraph, or Past Simple. My native language has three tenses (present, future and past), so I don't have an instinct to use all those different past tenses correctly.
I understand...it's not an easy thing to explain. When I learned Spanish, at least, it wasn't as difficult because a lot of the same tenses exist--they're just used on different occasions. (The subjunctive, however, was hell to learn--although sometimes, archaic English had something similar.)
It's a shame that Jarol still retains her racist attitudes...not only because it's wrong, but it's not going to help her in the rebellion at all. Hopefully, though, learning that her people and her state can be wrong will eventually end all of that for her.
Of course, the Maquis WERE very wrong to torture them. Yeah, they say it was unintentional, but if someone takes prisoners and actually gives a damn about keeping them alive for some reason, then they'll do their research first. That was also a very uncomfortable scene to read because it reminded me of some of the ways that Christians (and many others considered dissidents) were tortured in Eastern Europe during the Cold War. The cold was very much used as a weapon against them, to try to break their spirits.
I definitely look forward to seeing what she does in the rebellion...I hope she can keep herself and her crew safe!
Oh, and Brennok--his ear doesn't matter to me...he still sounds so adorable!!!