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Old July 24 2010, 09:26 AM   #18
SicOne
Commodore
 
Location: Omaha, NE
Re: The Joke Thread.

Three guys are in this boat in the middle of the Pacific, and the boat sinks but the guys are able to swim to a remote island. Only other people on the island are members of a tribe; war paint, bones sticking out of their noses, the whole nine yards. The tribe warriors drag the three guys before the tribe chief.

"You are invaders on our sacred island...and we give invaders a choice. Death...or boonda."

The guys look at each other, then one asks pensively, "Chief, what's boonda?"

"Boonda is where you get pronged up the ass by the entire tribe."

Taken very much aback, the three guys look over their shoulders to see the entire tribe amassed behind them, two hundred strong, not a female in sight.

Chief asks the first guy. "What is your choice?"

The first guy thinks a minute, then says, "Well...I don't wanna get screwed up the ass by two hundred big guys, but I don't wanna die, either, so I have no choice but to accept...boonda!"

The tribe yells, "YAAAAAAYYYYY!" and throws their spears into the air and hoots and hollers and forms an orderly line and nails this guy up the ass, big-time; all two hundred tribesmen. When they're finished, the first guy goes hobbling off towards the forest, all bow-legged, rectum bleeding, insides practically hanging out, a complete wreck.

Chief:"Second man, what is your choice?"

The second guy is in complete shock, having witnessed what happened to the first guy. But his life circumstances are a bit different from the first guy, so he rolls with it. "Well...clearly I don't want boonda, but if I choose death, that bitch wife of mine stands to inherit all of my wealth. I can have asshole-repair surgery when I get back to civilization and still retain my money, so I have little choice but to accept...boonda!"

"YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!", yells the tribe, the spears go up twice as high, another orderly line forms, and they REALLY nail this guy up the ol' poop-chute, twice in one day, this is a banner day for our tribe! When they're finished, the second guy, his asshole completely ruptured, colon in tatters and his intestines dangling around his ankles, goes shuffling off towards the first guy.

Chief:"Third man, what is your choice?"

The third guy, being more macho and having lived a nice full life, had more time to prepare his answer. "Well, chief; when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil, I want to die with dignity. So I choose...death!"

"YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!", the tribe trumpets, and the spears fly up three times as high, and they begin to drop their loincloths and form another line.

The third guy takes a step backwards, clutching his asshole, and says, "Hey, hey, hey, chief! What's going on? I chose death!"

The chief drops his loincloth and says "Death...by boonda!"
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