Warped old friend, I hate to do this to you, but...
the Spock of the movie is the Spock of TOS. Because that's what the writers intended.
By the same token, the Spock of TOS is not the Spock of the movie. Just because Nimoy happened to be the actor playing him doesn't make the 2009 film any more authoritative with regard to the events and characters of TOS than the series Enterprise
was. TOS was a complete work in 1969. That has not changed.
Abrams and Nimoy really have nothing to say about it.