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Old April 26 2010, 02:52 PM   #3
Cobalt Frost
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Re: Star Trek: Fighter Command

Might I suggest asking around the board for a proofreader? Also, you really need to incorporate paragraph breaks, like this:

Whtstr314 wrote: View Post
Janeway kept up compressions until, less than two minutes later, McKnight came back with the EMedkit. McKnight quickly tossed it to Janeway, who quickly pulled out the defribilator and quickly shocked her back into rhythm. The monitor on the tricorder quickly became more steady and stabilized. “How many people did you have to fight through to get this?” Janeway joked as he quickly cauterized Sovak’s wound.

“You don’t wanna know,” said McKnight with a grimace. When Janeway looked over, McKnight just looked away.

“Alright, she’s good until we evacuate,” said Janeway as he activated the ship’s comm. at one of the few working stations, “What’s the status of the communications, shields, engines, and sensors Mr. Warrth?”
As it stands, your post is a nigh-unreadable block of solid text, which is too bad, because you have an intriguing idea.
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