There's a bit of zoomy-zoom-zoom that I'm not used to, (Not as jarring as TOS-R though!). Perhaps slow down the pace by 1 phaser blast, and alternate the pitch of the phaser blasts on the final audio cut.
You've got your work cut out for you!
Sadly, nothing you can do can change:
Spock: Deflectors at full power.
They can't take much more of this. (flat).
*nothing else is happening on screen*