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Old March 28 2010, 09:52 PM   #11
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

Deranged Nasat wrote: View Post
A Berat story!

I never actually read the original novel you borrowed him from, but I've always liked what you do with this character. He's both very Cardassian and very individual at once, which is of course what it should be aiming for (and you know I think you rarely, if ever, miss!). Reading Berat as you write him, I always think "yep, this is a Cardassian" while also thinking "this is a unique individual who has to be judged as an individual not against any perceived idea of what "Cardassian" means"- even as he convinces as a Cardassian.
Berat's personality and experiences definitely separate him from the "typical Cardassian heavy."

(But you know the funny thing? Speaking of the "typical Cardassian heavy," did you notice how the boy saw Tebal and Mevrit, and what Berat knows about them?)

I'm so glad you like him!

I also liked the lurking theme of youth and the frustrations of it, either in a society that, as you said in the story itself, distrusts youth and values age, or in a situation that serves to give the other side of the story and show why- maybe-youth needs to be checked. Or was the boy justified in feeling frustrated by youth and the actions or inaction of his elders- is the problem his youthful passion and lack of wisdom, or the fact that those with age and wisdom failed in their relating to him? Age and youth and old before your time...
I'm not exactly sure what the boy's home situation was, but I have this strong feeling that his mother is not present...I suspect the marriage is strained. I get the feeling sometimes that his father was not always really present (which is how the kid's actually able to sneak a phaser out and then go on that "camping trip"). And yet I don't think the father was a bad man, either. As to the boy, though...there was so, SO much he didn't think through until it was too late. In the end, it was his decision, what he did. But I do think that if you look at this as a Cardassian story, a Cardassian would definitely draw from this that youth does have to be checked, and they have to be brought up to know their place and not presume to know better than their elders.

And of course, the whole "father's footsteps" angle reminds me of the complexities in "A Stone's Throw Away".
Though as I said before...I get the feeling this father isn't as much of a presence in his son's life as Berat's father was in his. Then again, maybe that's part of what separates these two.

Deranged Nasat wrote: View Post
kes7 wrote: View Post
For some reason, reading this, I was seeing it cinema-style in my head -- no music, just the juxtaposition of the laughing and joking Cardassians trying to reach out a bit with the kid and his heavy breathing and his heartbeat pounding as he raises the gun ... making everything seem super-ominous.
Agreed. I could see the scene as if in a film and I could hear the silence, if that makes sense? The filter, the muted, surreal nature of it all then broken suddenly and powerfully by the shot, and it all becomes far too real and shoots into focus for us- and the characters (the human boy especially).
I think I learned some of how to depict events like that from nuBSG...not sure how to explain it, but it's definitely there.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Are you a Cardassian fan, citizen? Prove your loyalty--check out my fanfic universe, Star Trek: Sigils and Unions. Or keep the faith on my AU Cardassia, Sigils and Unions: Catacombs of Oralius!

Last edited by Nerys Ghemor; March 28 2010 at 10:04 PM.
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