(Seriously, people play Shepard as a male more than once? Even if I didn't want to be spending 20 hours of gameplay staring at femShep's ass instead of manShep's, the difference in the voice acting is huge.)
I played ManShep twice (first playthrough, then New Game+). I didn't have a problem with Mark Meer's voice acting. But I also played FemShep twice (two separate characters).
As for Kaidan, he died in my male Shepard's storyline (since I was romancing Ashley), and he died in my Renegade FemShep playthrough (not for any romantic reasons). He survived my Paragon FemShep game, though.
Both Ashley and Kaiden insist on monogamy.
That's gonna be real tough on me since one of the romanceable NPCs in ME2 looks and sounds like Yvonne Strahovski.