What in the WORLD? Is this a clone of Anakin? Or have I totally missed something?
You really captured Luke's indecision, and his seeming descent into the Dark Side. The self-loathing and the insatiable attraction to Mara Jade really reminds me of an even darker, more twisted version of the way Anakin's attraction to Padmé got so out of hand.
Oh, and the Death Star--I KNEW they had to be working on it somewhere. With that thing lurking around, no wonder the Corellians have dropped off the grid!