Thank you all!
NOW...we turn to Ezri's story.
Since there is practically nothing on her life, except what we saw in "Protigal Daughter", I felt kinda safe fleshing it out on my own. Most of this is based on a "character synopsis" I did for her recently--such as Ezri's father's name, her early hobbies, the exchanges, etc. Maybe I'll post it some time.
Anyway...I also referred to her tale in Lives of Dax
, "Second Star To The Right...And Straight On 'Till Morning". But...as I haven't actually read
the tale (I got the info from the boys as Memory Beta--kudos to ya, mates!
), I deliberately kept her time on the Destiny
as vauge as possibe. Still, if I got anything from that wrong...please accept my apologies.
Okay. Now, with that out of the way:
Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 13 & 14
Spock finished the journey though his memories, and waited for Ezri’s response. It came, after a time of silence, as the girl contemplated all she had learned.
Spock… thank you. I think I…understand you a lot better, now.
It seems so…complete. It’s like I’ve live your life with you.
In a sense…you did.
Well…I guess I’d better return the favor.
Of course, Ezri….
And so, as Spock encouraged her, she led him back to the memories of her life.
He saw an edifice, overlooking a vast quarry—the Tigan home, he knew, and the headquarters of one of the largest, most successful mining empires in known space.
He saw her family—her two brothers, Janel and Norvo…the former large and full-bodied, the latter small and gangly…one boisterous and confident, the other quiet and timid.
…her mother, Yanas—tall, imposing, her every movement implying her power and strength…and her desire to retain those qualities above all else.
…her father, Nalron, a man of an imposing inner power of his own, the ambitious air of an entrepreneur always about his person.
He saw Ezri, as a small child, always looking around her with an inherent sense of wonder…and a desire for knowledge, an innocent yearning for life—and all its possibilities.
He saw her, as she grew, often silent, watching her family conduct their daily affairs—and many times, pacing through the house, a pad of
I…didn’t like using padds then, Ezri explained.
Too distracting….)—in her hand, with a pencil, as she jotted down her reflections on them all.
You know…I didn’t realize it then, but…it was like…I was preparing myself to be a counselor.
Your notes were…psychological evaluations, then?
I guess—but I was a bit of an amateur. I hadn’t taken any of those kinds of classes in school. Still…when I finally showed some of them to my father—he was impressed, to say the least….
Spock saw her sitting on the ledge of a rock face, overlooking the sea. She was eagerly watching Nalron, her father, who sat beside her as he read the notes she had given him. “You…figured all of this out…just by watching me, around the house…?” “Is…that all right?” “Why—yes! It’s just…” he chuckled, “I wouldn’t want that much of this to get out.” “That’s all right. I won’t show anyone, if you don’t want me to.”
You had…a connection with your father?
Yes…you could say he was a hero to me. I felt safe around him—not afraid to talk with him about…everything. And…I knew he could do anything
And…what of your mother?
Well…it was Mother that I was having a problem with—or…she had a problem with me, I don’t know….
He saw her, as Yanas tried to lecture her on how to be a member of the family. He saw Ezri try to live up to what she perceived as her mother’s expectations of her—but always end up confused…uncertain of what Yanas really wanted of her, as her mother kept finding different things to criticize.
He saw her brothers, as they grew up with her. Janel became a rugged, muscular youth, filled with a desire to dig, to build—to lead. Norvo remained a quiet, shy soul, who had within him a matchless talent in the arts—poetry…music…painting. His work impressed them all—except for Yanas, who simply looked at her son’s work with a severe demeanor, and an expressionless face.
He saw Ezri’s relationship with each of her brothers—she had a great admiration for the strong, confident Janel—and always kept something of a wall between them. As for Norvo…Ezri often sat with him, as they looked over each other’s latest creations, laughing together, encouraging each other.
And yet…there was, indeed, trouble brewing in this home. Nalron and Yanas often clashed with strongly differing opinions on how to run the company—and the family. Finally…Yanas won, and effectively drove her husband out of the home.
That…was difficult for you to accept.
Yes…. I was young enough to keep from feeling any real bitterness towards Mother…but still…it was hard for me to recover…and…I suddenly became filled with a desire to follow his lead, and get out….
He also saw her develop a new pastime: the construction of miniatures of Starfleet vessels, which Norvo assisted her in building, under her direction.
Interesting. You thus had desired to enter Starfleet since adolescence.
Oh…I’d thought about it for a while, Spock, but…basically, yes.
He saw her encourage Norvo to put his talents to work, and find some way to… shape and craft them into a great career. “Now, that’s what I like about you, Zee—you always know what to do.” “I wouldn’t say that.” “No, really—how
can you decide for yourself like that?” “Norvo…how can
you let Mother decide your life
He saw Yanas try to make her stay, as Ezri finally announced that she was applying for Starfleet. “Ezri—you have
no right to leave when the family needs you.” “For what, Mother?” He saw Yanas’s anger slowly change into a begrudging acceptance that her daughter was going to run her own life from then on
He saw Ezri enter the Academy—saw her stare in bewilderment at the blue oceans—saw her throw herself into her studies right away…and saw her meet Admiral Janice Rand for the first time.
You know the Admiral, Spock? Oh, no, wait—that’s right. She served on the Enterprise
under Kirk, too—and she told me that…you were good friends with her.
We were. I must admit…I saw great potential in her, even then. In many respects…she was very much like you are, now.
…I guess you could say that….
Spock saw the admiral become a mentor to Ezri—a second mother, giving her guidance on life in Starfleet, and life in general…and helping her learn how to face the universe with optimism, and never give up hope…no matter what happens.
He saw Ezri excel in her time at the Academy—and receive her first assignment: a position as an assistant counselor on the
USS Destiny. He saw her meet a fellow ensign named Brinner Finok—a Trill, like her. He saw them take interest in the possibility of a relationship.
But then, the
Destiny had been summoned to Deep Space Nine. The eighth host to the Dax symbiont, Jadzia, had died, and the symbiont had to be brought to Trill immediately.
Spock saw Ezri discover that Finok was not himself. He saw the changeling who had taken the man’s form, as it was defeated in its attempt to steal Dax. He saw a squadron of Jem’Hadar vessels attack the
Destiny—and the symbiont as its condition weakened.
He saw Ezri—who, as Finok was presumed dead, was believed to be the only Trill available—accept the symbiont…and become the ninth host to bear the name of Dax.
You had not desired to be joined.
Not really, Spock. I didn’t really feel the need. But…there I was, in the right place…at the right time….
He saw her, as Finok was discovered not to have died. But Ezri resolved not to continue pursuing a relationship, as he had reminded her too much of the son of a previous host
He saw her seek out Captain Benjamin Sisko, who had been a dear friend to the two hosts who had immediately preceded her. “Hello, Benjamin.” “Do I know you?” “It’s me…Dax
He saw her in her first week on Deep Space Nine—running into Commander Worf, who had been the husband of Jadzia. “I was…your
wife.” “I do not know you! …Nor do I
wish to know you
He saw her, as Sisko offered her a position as station counselor—which she had initially refused, on the grounds that she didn’t want to increase Worf’s heartache
He saw her first meeting with Doctor Julian Bashir—and what she had said to him, as they discussed Jadzia. “You can be very charming. You want to know something? If Worf hadn’t come along, it would’ve been you.”
Spock felt Ezri’s presence mentally stiffen—as if the memory disturbed her.
He saw her struggle to help the Cardassian named Garak in his claustrophobia. He saw the man, out of stress and agony, lash out at her. “Look at you—you’re
pathetic…a confused child trying to live up to a legacy left by her predecessors. You’re not
worthy of the name ‘Dax’. I
knew Jadzia—she was vital—alive—she
owned herself—and you…you don’t even know who you are
Spock saw Ezri find a place of solitude, where she broke down in tears of despair—because she feared he was right. He saw her request to resign from Starfleet
Interesting. It was out of fear?
In a way…. I thought my life was over—ruined. I hadn’t gone through the long process of preparing to join—and…I was afraid that this was a gift I didn’t deserve—a gift that would destroy any hope I had for a meaningful career….
The captain did not take this lightly.
Spock saw her in Sisko’s office, listening to him. The captain rebuked her, accusing her of being a waste. “Quite frankly, you don’t deserve to wear that uniform! I’ll pass this on to Starfleet Command—
But then…Spock saw her return to Garak, and through one more exchange…discover the roots of his psychological problem. He was thus cured, and he thanked her, in a tone of apology.
Spock saw Ezri request that Sisko reinstate her—only to find that he didn’t send in the resignation in the first place. “I…had a
feeling you didn’t mean all those things you said to me. You were just trying to rattle my cage.” “You’ve done it to me often enough. I’m glad it worked.”
He saw Ezri accept a transfer to the station—as well as a promotion—immediately after Worf came to accept her, as well. He then saw her grow, throughout the following year.
He saw her befriend a young man named Kellin, an engineer stationed at AR-558, when she and the crew were struggling to help hold the line against the Jem’Hadar. He saw her…after a long, bloody siege…cradling the man’s lifeless body in her arms, after he had been shot in the back, while saving her own life
He saw her return home—and uncover a tragic web of treachery and deceit. Norvo was placed under arrest, and sentenced to thirty years in prison for murder. Janel left the home, on Ezri’s advice. And Yanas…her mother…at last had to face what she had done to her family. “This isn’t my fault…is it, Ezri? I didn’t do this…did I?”
He saw her, having returned to the station, confiding in Chief O’Brien, explaining how she felt responsible for the destruction of the Tigan family…because she had focused too much on her desire to lead her own life…and not enough on what was happening around her.
Ezri…it is illogical to blame yourself for your mother’s actions.
Spock…you remember what I’d said about…my wishing there was more I could have done?
I…guess I blamed myself for…not trying hard enough to convince Norvo to set out on his own, all those years ago.
Nonetheless…it seems unlikely that there was anything you could have done.
Unlikely…maybe. But…I still can’t help but wonder…if it could have been different.
He saw her, investigating a series of murders…as she confided in a past host—Joran, who was himself a murderer
Alone in a runabout, braving the Badlands, to rescue Worf
On Goralis…their night of fiery passion, as the part of her that had been Jadzia drew her to Worf, and him to her
On the Breen warship, where the two realized that her heart truly belonged to Julian Bashir
Spock felt Ezri’s consciousness stiffen in disturbance, once again.
I do not—
Spock saw her and Worf in a Cardassian prison, where they reconciled, and agreed to remain friends. He saw them released by Gul Damar, with the promise that they now had an ally on Cardassia
He saw them, back on the station, some time later, as Worf confessed his frustration with Klingon Chancellor Gowron. Ezri responded by pointing out the corruption of Klingon society in general. “The Klingon Empire is dying…and I think it deserves to die.” Thus, it had been she who had, indirectly, motivated Worf to kill Gowron in combat—and instill a new, better leader in his place.
Fascinating. Perhaps, Ezri…you are even more notable that I had previously believed.
Spock, please…none of that.
Of course. My apologies….
He saw her, trying time and again, to confess to Julian her feelings for him—only to result in an unfortunate interruption, by outside circumstances.
Finally, though, he had come to her, and they discovered that their attraction was mutual. But… “You know…why we might be holding back. The friendship.” “You’re right...why jeopardize our friendship by…trying to turn this into something else?” “I’ve made that mistake before.” “Yes, and once you’ve crossed the line…” “…You can never go back.” “And…if it doesn’t work out—”
* * *
Spock’s eyes shot open at the sudden change. It was as if Ezri’s consciousness had been ripped
away from him.
He looked…and saw her. He suddenly realized, from analyzing her position—she had jerked away, and had whirled to the side, but she had instinctively reached out her palms, and thus had stopped the fall—that she had forced
herself away…and therefore…had shattered the meld.
Ezri was catching her breath. She was staring down, as if at the ground…but it seemed to Spock…as if her gaze were directed inward….
“Ezri…what is wrong?”
“Spock, I…” Her voice trailed off, as she turned to him.
Spock fought to keep his astonishment from showing. The slight hint of sadness he had seen in her eyes—the brief, occasional flicker of pain—now filled her entire expression. Gone was the confident, adventurous woman who commanded one of Starfleet’s finest vessels. Now…she seemed a small, scared child…vulnerable…shaking.
Somehow…the meld had collided against a mental barrier—and…it had drained her.
Their gaze locked for a moment longer. Finally, Ezri stood up, and Spock could see a great struggle to restore her dignity—to straighten her shoulders, and hide her emotions within. She swallowed, and spoke in a careful, measured tone. “Mr. Ambassador…I think it would be best if…we postpone this…until another time.”
Spock stared at her for a few seconds longer. Finally…he nodded, and rose. “Of course, Captain.”
They returned to their seats. Spock consulted his console for a minute or two…and then turned to Ezri.
The girl was leaning forward, peering into her screen, obviously trying to distract herself.
Spock felt a surge of compassion within him. So…this
had been why she had asked him, during the meld, whether he had regretted leaving Leila. This
was why she seemed…astonished at the memories of Saavik, and Spock’s feelings for his wife.
She had been worried…that he would not understand her own loss…and that she would be laying an unnecessary burden on him—or worse, an embarrassment.
do understand…in part. However…this…choice she made…it does not appear to sufficiently explain the violence of her reaction. Clearly, I do not have the complete answer. Perhaps…if I understood all the information…if we had finished the meld—
No. Ezri would have to open up to him herself. Another meld, in all likelihood, would be dangerous for her, with the barrier she had unknowingly set up firmly entrenched in her mind.
No. Logic demanded that he wait. For how long…he could not be certain. Nor could he be certain…that she would ever open up to him again.
* * *