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Old December 9 2009, 02:57 AM   #58
Rush Limborg
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Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Thanks for the comments, everyone!

Now, I see your point, Badger, and while I admit that, as a general rule, mindmelds are not exactly interviews, still...I think there is some precedent--such as Picard's melds with Sarek and Spock, and Spock's melds with the Horta and nuKirk....

But yes, this was primarily a plot decision. I figured that just to have them talk and talk and talk would get dull after a while--so I felt a serious need to inject some "action", as it were....

Okay...NOW, the meld begins.

This scene--and the one to follow--should set a record for the longest Mindmeld Sequence in TrekLit history. In my defense, though, it's neccesary to gain a sense of fellowship between the pair....

Anyhow, the following elements from Spock's life come from canon, A.C. Crispin's Sarek, and the novelization of STV: TFF, by J.M. Dillard. There's also a brief reference to Vulcan's Heart.


Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 12

Ezri felt…as if she was traveling down a road…a road of pure knowledge, with Spock as her companion on this journey. She felt a great sense of wonder filling her essence…a desire to know all that could be known…and she felt as if this desire could indeed be fulfilled.

And then a thought arose from within her: I…I’ve never done this before….

She heard—no, felt, the voice of Spock. I shall guide you in this, Ezri…if you wish.

Yes, Spock. And…thank you.

Of course, Ezri.

Now…where to start? Should I explore your memories…or should you explore mine?

As human males are fond of saying…“Ladies first”.

All right. That sounds good.

She let his presence guide her, to the memories of his childhood. She saw…

She saw him, as a young child…unsure of who he truly was…who he truly wanted to be. She saw him…tormented, taunted by the other children, the full-blooded Vulcans who insisted on telling him—in such rational, matter-of-fact tones of voices—that he wasn’t truly Vulcan…that his father was a traitor…his mother a whore…and that he was undeserving of the respect of any living being.

Ezri felt a feeling of rage fill her being. Those…those monsters!

Ezri, came the calm, soothing voice of Spock, as he was now, It is the past.

But…but how could you let them get away with it?

I believe…you know the answer, now.

And it came to her. Yes…you were afraid that…if you responded to them as you wanted to…you would have proved them right.


That’s…a hard fact to accept, though.

My…mother found it difficult, as well.

She saw him at home, with his human mother—Amanda Grayson…. Amanda was trying to comfort her son, putting her arm around him…and Spock sat there, stiff…and cold.

No…I was not cold. I knew that I had to give that appearance…so as to compensate.

Compensate! For being different?

For being…more prone to emotions.

But…what’s wrong with that?

I was not certain… However, my father had often stated that, as I was the only Vulcan-Human hybrid in existence…I would have to choose one half or the other…so as to avoid internal isolation…and loneliness.

Oh, but…how did you make the choice?

Another scene, this time showing Spock journeying alone through the mountains…well, not alone, as a small, furry animal was with him.

It is a sehlat. My mother often compared it to an Earth “teddy bear”.

Ezri felt a surge of amusement. A…teddy bear?

Not precisely, Ezri. On Vulcan, the “teddy bears” are alive, and have six-inch fangs….

And then, she saw Spock, standing by the side of his pet…and she could see that it was dying. She understood…that it had saved his life. And now…Spock, a child of seven, had to choose whether to have it die now, to spare it the agony…or to prolong its life for a little while longer.

It was then, Ezri understood, that Spock had made his decision. He followed the Vulcan path…and had it put to sleep.

The next scene was a short time later. He was being betrothed to a Vulcan girl his age. T’Pring, Spock’s voice identified—and Ezri could feel from his essence an air of…bitterness?

But then, a series of brief flashes, showing his development. Ezri felt a sort of narration in her mind: from that point on, since Spock had chosen the Vulcan path, it was easier…easier to face the taunts of those who had rejected him.

Surprisingly, there were even some who had been willing to accept him.

She saw one such person: His half-brother, Sybok…son of T’Rea, a Vulcan priestess who had been betrothed—and briefly mated—to Sarek, Spock’s father.

Indeed…it was Sybok who, through gently questioning my decision to follow the Vulcan path, assisted in setting me on the path to Starfleet. It is…most ironic….

How so?

All in good time, Ezri. We must proceed in a systematic manner….

She saw Spock, now a young adult, facing his father, informing Sarek that he did not intend to enroll in the Vulcan Science Academy, as planned. “I applied instead to Starfleet Academy.”

She saw Sarek’s final response, as his son made it clear that his mind would not be changed. “If you do this…you will not be welcome in my lands, your name will not be known to me. If you persist in disgracing yourself and your lineage, I will not be able to excuse you, either publicly or privately. You will be vrekasht— (exile, Ezri knew) “—to me, Spock.”

And Spock had accepted it…and left, beginning a silence between him and his father that would last for many years….

From there, Ezri saw Spock’s journey, through the Academy, where he had excelled in the sciences and command…she saw him on his first assignment—the U.S.S. Enterprise, under the command of Captain Christopher Pike—who would be his mentor…and his friend…for their eleven years of service together.

And then…it all came to an end. For Pike was then promoted, and the Enterprise was given to…James T. Kirk.

She saw a new friendship form, one that would forever define them both. “Have I ever mentioned you play a very…irritating game of chess, Mr. Spock?” “Irritating? Ah, yes…one of your Earth emotions….

And yet…Spock had still yet to resolve his central conflict—his two halves, “…constantly at odds…at war with each other.” And, indeed…when a virus had brought this battle out into the open…it had driven him to tears.

“My mother…I could never tell her that I loved her….

Ezri saw him, then, slowly come to accept a sense of camaraderie between him and his fellows. She saw Dr. McCoy…and his passionate desire to bicker with Spock, on the merits of emotion over logic. “It’ll take more than logic to get us out of this.” “Perhaps, Doctor…but I can think of no better way to begin.”

She saw Spock…with a woman, named Leila, who had loved him…and had desired to win him back. The spores of Omicron Ceti Three…that had, for a time, given him great joy…and had caused him to love this woman in return.

Alas…it had been temporary. Jim Kirk, his friend, had caused him to “snap out of it”. And thus, he had to say goodbye. “I am what I am, Leila…and if there are…self-made purgatories…we must all live in them.”

Spock…did you ever wish…that it would have been different?

My feelings for her were not real, Ezri. To maintain them would have been…illogical.

Maybe…. A feeling of sadness filled Ezri…which she quickly drove away. But…that doesn’t answer my question.

Perhaps not…but it is my answer.

She saw Spock, and Kirk, in the past—in Earth’s Great Depression—struggling to repair a change in the timeline. She saw a woman—Edith Keeler—a woman with unusual insight, telling Spock that he belonged by Kirk’s side, “as if you always were…and always will be.”

And…she saw Spock discover a terrible truth. “Jim…Edith Keeler must die.”

The captain took this hard, Spock?

He did. Jim would later speak of her as the one experience of his life that could never be repeated—perhaps, the one woman he had truly loved.

And…you had to tell him to give her up…to save humanity.


From there…she saw Spock’s return to Vulcan, to mate with T’Pring. She saw T’Pring reject him—and then manipulate events so that Spock would have to fight Jim Kirk…to the death. And it was all so that she would have another man—Stonn.

Wha—she was willing to plot murder…just so you would let her go?

She used flawless logic…to achieve her own ends.

Ezri felt a surge of rage once again. And…you let her get away with this?

There was nothing I could do, Ezri. What she did was lawful—regardless of its immorality.

Wait—Captain Kirk didn’t die here….

Correct. Doctor McCoy engaged in…medical trickery…to fake his death, and then return him to “life”.

She saw Spock, in Sickbay, turning to see his friend standing behind him—alive. “Captain…JIM!” he had shouted in elation—before quickly regaining control.

From there…she saw Sarek and Amanda, on the Enterprise, reunited with Spock. She saw Sarek nearly die—and she saw Spock save him…and in doing so…repair their strained relationship.

She saw them…playfully tease Amanda. “Emotional, isn’t she?” “She has always been that way.” “Indeed? Why did you marry her?” “At the time…it seemed the…logical thing to do.”

She saw Spock forced to resort to deception—and manipulation—to obtain for the Federation a Romulan cloaking device. She saw him with the female commander he had deceived…as the woman reacted with bitterness at his seduction of her…and respect, for the fact that he had been doing his duty.

As the five-year mission drew to a close, Ezri saw Spock’s inner conflict continue to boil within—until finally, she saw him on Vulcan, pursuing the Kohlinar, in order to forsake all emotion…and be, at last, truly Vulcan.

She saw him fail.

She saw him return to the now-refit Enterprise, as they faced the V’Ger life-form. There, Spock discovered that V’Ger had what he’d failed to gain—pure, emotionless logic. And he discovered that it was not worth it.

She saw him explain to Jim, using the example of their friendship, “This simple feeling…is beyond V’Ger’s comprehension….” And thus, she saw him, finally, begin to accept who he really was.

She saw him train Saavik, a half-Vulcan, half-Romulan woman, who would become his greatest student—and indeed…a friend.

She saw him, years later, confiding to Jim, “You are my friend. I have been…and always shall be yours.”

She saw him save his friends, by sacrificing himself. “You’re NOT going in there!” “Sorry, Doctor—I have no time to discuss this logically.” She saw him place his soul within McCoy. “Remember…”

She saw him die, telling Jim. “Don’t grieve, Admiral…it is logical. The needs of the many…outweigh…” “…the needs of the few…” “…or the one.”

She saw him return to life, as his body was revived on the Genesis Planet…and his essence retrieved from McCoy. “Jim…. Your name…is Jim.”

She saw him with his father once again, after saving Earth alongside his crewmates. She saw Sarek admit his error in opposing Spock’s joining of Starfleet.

She saw him reunited with his half-brother, Sybok…and saw Spock lose him, as his brother hijacked the Enterprise, in search of the world of the ultimate knowledge…where he would perish. Thus, she saw Spock speak with Jim: “I lost a brother.” “I lost a brother once. I was lucky I got him back.”

Spock…he meant you, didn’t he?

Yes…he did.

She saw him, during the Khitomer Conspiracy, speaking with Jim once again. “Is it possible…that you and I have grown…so old…and inflexible...that we have outlived our usefulness?”

She saw him at the conference, meeting a Romulan Ambassador named Pardek….

She saw him, after those events…as he recovered from the death of his dearest friend…as he eventually left Starfleet, to join the Diplomatic Corps…as he married Saavik, his friendship with his student developing, over the years, to love….

So…you are capable of love….

Yes. Does that…astonish you, Ezri?

Well…I guess….

She saw him…as he left Federation space, and went undercover on Romulus, to begin his unification movement, with the help of now-Senator Pardek. She saw Spock encounter, for the first time, Jean-Luc Picard—who held within his mind a part of Sarek, courtesy of a mindmeld of their own.

She saw his continuing his work, despite the betrayal of Pardek—despite persecution, and hardship. She saw him persevere—and it was this perseverance which led him here, to this moment…on this shuttle, on this journey, by her side.

And she knew that his perseverance…his desire to…do the best he could…had grown from his acceptance of both halves of his heritage, his acceptance of who he was—and what he could be….

* * *
"The saying implies but does not name the effective agency of its supposed utopia.... 'Needs and abilities' are, of course, subjective. So the operative statement may be reduced to 'the State shall take, the State shall give'."
--David Mamet
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