"I bent my wookie."
"My cat's food tastes like cat food."
"My finger slipped."
"So did mine..."
"I had a cat named Snowball. She died, she died. My mom said she was sleeping. She lied, she lied."
Homer, to a passing shopper
"Excuse me, sir -- you look liek a guy who has trouble pleasing his wife."
Guy punches Homer in the face